Intro: G, Em, D, C
Body of song: D, C, G, B7
Strumming patterns, intro and outro: B↓B↓
Body of song: B↓↑B↓
Sorry to break the bad news folks
I’ve got another turd for the pile
I’ll try to sound tough like Johnny Cash
But ya’ might want to take a while.
To go for a crap or take a pee
Maybe step out for a smoke
Maybe hit yourself in the head with a hammer
Then take a murderous toke.
If love were a punch to the gut
I’d be suckin’ for oxygen
If love were just a silly notion
I’d be four months in the bin.
Don’t know nothin’ ‘bout that thin thin line
I’m pretty sure that’s not true
But if love were a backed up sewer line
I’d be eyeball deep in poo.
Well a lot of people have a lot of court dates
Over what we’re goin’ through
Many gold bands in a lot of pawnshops
For the sake of the truest true.
If love were a cycle men went through
I’d be four months on the rag
My cup runneth over Kukichiyo
Someone bring me my sickbag.
If love were a bad name for a band
I’d call ours Hoobastank
If love showed up as hemorrhoids
Oh baby I’d have you to thank.
A guy like Shakespeare would write a sonnet
Sweet music for an ancient ear
I promise you baby I’ll get right on it
B7 (flourish) D
But now my thumb is stuck up my rear.
I said my thumb is totally stuck
Up, my, rear.
Richy Vegas 4/23/2017