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I wish people wouldn't worry so much about me

5/3/2022

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I look at my last post as an attempt to zero in on what all transpires behind the scenes in my world.  I now stand prepared to say that I don't believe that young woman will show up anywhere, anytime soon in my world.  I doubt she will come to my comic book sale this Saturday, I don't actually know where she works, I don't know of any way to get in touch with her, and in the interest of keeping the peace, I have no desire to track her down in any way.

My experiences of these kinds of deals tells me that people in my world may worry about me now.  That means they may worry on my behalf about my overall well being and state of mind, and many may worry about whether or not I will retaliate or act out in any way in light of how I saw things going on and where the place I perceived that young woman as coming from in regards to how she did actually interact and engage with me.

Some people seemed to have those kinds of concerns in the aftermath of my transcendent moment with "Linda" back in December of 1988.  I had a similarly transcendent moment with that young woman last October, and people may think that now some pendulum swing in the other direction may come.  The problem with that line of thinking resides in the fact that things don't really work that way.  I'm fully capable of learning from my past mistakes, and that includes whatever mistakes I made in regards to my deal with Linda.

I never acted out in the wake of my transcendent moment with "Jenna" in 1992. Instead, I merely had a gran mal meltdown that led to two hospitalizations and a mental illness diagnosis, but acting out, nope.  What I did do "in retaliation" to what all went down in those days concerning Jenna can be found in my production of fourteen eighty page comic books and some songs i wrote over the years that wholly deal with that time or refer to that time in part. 

Man, it would be nice if my perception of the other day that some attractive women seemed to give me more love than usual contained some truth, and that this love could go on and on and blossom, but I don't know about that. In the aftermath of my transcendent moment with Linda in 1988, it seemed as if some people didn't at all see me as the cast off, discarded person I often saw myself as during that time.  I'll try to keep that in mind.
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