Yeah, she may have just wanted to kind of use me for free male attention from an inexperienced guy she wouldn't have to take seriously, but the part where the wheels came off and I started the incessant phone calls, asking her out again over and over and over again counts as my contribution to the overall disfunction of that deal. My lack of self-control made that whole situation about ninety percent my fault. I mean, all she did was goose me some with a little flirtatious attention, go out on some dates with me, and then decide she'd had enough, but the part where I just went full tilt on her with the phone calls and the frustration that resulted from that was all on me.
Writing stuff on this blog to come off as some great guy, and then seeing if some woman in my world changes in the way she interacts with me KIND OF reminds me of those days, but only kind of. There's not quite the white-hot intensity of flinging myself against the barricades that I felt in the midst of the deal I struck with Veronica Ortega. Anyway, I've thought a lot about those days and how I do probably contribute to the overwhelming feeling that nothing ever changes between me and an individual woman to
a much, much greater extent than I sometimes care to admit.
I wonder what would have happened if I'd just backed off of Veronica in a timely manner? I had sex with Chelsea almost FOUR YEARS LATER to the day after I met her. I asked her in 2011 if I gave her the impression that I called her way too much, and she didn't even associate me with that type, and I'd known her since 2003. Hooray.