The other day I went in that business that the young woman I go on and on about either works at or used to work at during a time that I knew her to work there. She was not there. Since this one occasion I've decided to, once again, refrain from going to that business during the times I knew her to work there. She might have quit by now for all I know, but I will still keep this constraint in place.
I've talked about this girl I call Daria before. I saw her a few months ago at a coffee shop. We talked for a little bit, and I asked her if I could send her another email. She said yeah, that'd be fine, that she loves email. I wrote her an email later that night, but, once again, she didn't reply to the one email, so I decided to not write any more emails to her. I go to coffee shops almost every day. Some of the female baristas that know me will get into somewhat involved conversational exchanges with me. Once upon a time, about ten years ago, I would go ahead and ask baristas out after a while, but they always shot me down. So now I have a prohibition against asking baristas at these coffee shops out. They would have to broach the subject for things to go anywhere, which none of them have done. That girl at that business whom I can go on about never even talked to me in the two-plus years since she threw me that one flirty look one time. I know, I know, I've never even tried to talk to her myself, but dig, when some situation arises with these women that I label sketchy, I just shut down and observe. This whole time, I've decided to just follow this young woman's lead, so if she doesn't talk to me, I don't talk to her. These days, I don't even want to patronize this business when I knew her to work there. What's the point?
Looking back on my high school years, I can see how the obsessive weirdness that I would visit on one girl would just transfer over into some different type of obsessive weirdness on some other girl. I might write some weird thing in one girl's calendar book that she left on the lunch table, and some months later call some other girls house late at night and hang up whenever she or some other family member answered. So I want to behave more consistently not-weird than that these days. Call it a spiritual approach to how I relate to women, where I try to treat them all the same no matter what they do or do not mean to me.
I've talked about this girl I call Daria before. I saw her a few months ago at a coffee shop. We talked for a little bit, and I asked her if I could send her another email. She said yeah, that'd be fine, that she loves email. I wrote her an email later that night, but, once again, she didn't reply to the one email, so I decided to not write any more emails to her. I go to coffee shops almost every day. Some of the female baristas that know me will get into somewhat involved conversational exchanges with me. Once upon a time, about ten years ago, I would go ahead and ask baristas out after a while, but they always shot me down. So now I have a prohibition against asking baristas at these coffee shops out. They would have to broach the subject for things to go anywhere, which none of them have done. That girl at that business whom I can go on about never even talked to me in the two-plus years since she threw me that one flirty look one time. I know, I know, I've never even tried to talk to her myself, but dig, when some situation arises with these women that I label sketchy, I just shut down and observe. This whole time, I've decided to just follow this young woman's lead, so if she doesn't talk to me, I don't talk to her. These days, I don't even want to patronize this business when I knew her to work there. What's the point?
Looking back on my high school years, I can see how the obsessive weirdness that I would visit on one girl would just transfer over into some different type of obsessive weirdness on some other girl. I might write some weird thing in one girl's calendar book that she left on the lunch table, and some months later call some other girls house late at night and hang up whenever she or some other family member answered. So I want to behave more consistently not-weird than that these days. Call it a spiritual approach to how I relate to women, where I try to treat them all the same no matter what they do or do not mean to me.
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