My last post was about A-list celebrity as American Royalty, and how that affected me, Richard Alexander, with a celeb fixation I've nicknamed the Invisible Woman. This deal has been on since the first of this year, so anyone who wants to get up to speed, just start reading posts from there until now.
My last post talked about the attractive young or youngish women in my world being like a lesser nobility, and the Invisible Woman being more like this one King of England in the Middle Ages, who sent his guard to cut down a mob of peasants who were deluded into thinking that their king loved them as much as they loved him, and that they would find redress for their grievances against their local nobles through his good graces.
I might have mistakenly given the impression that I bore ill will towards any of the attractive young or youngish women in my world by making this analogy. That's not true. I've found that since I've stopped trying to make these kinds of women into my girlfriend, I don't have much to complain about. I get kind of upset when one of these types tries a little too hard, or way way too hard, to go adversarial on me and paint me as some kind of bad guy in their world, just because they know things about my mental illness combined with my obsessive nature.
I'm talking primarily about women who work at businesses such as food service or other retail businesses and who have to interact with broad cross-sections of the general public, including myself. I'm getting out more and I am not so much in a position where these types are the ONLY attractive women I'm around. I've just extended the deal with myself that I don't have to pressure myself to ask anyone out or even try much to talk to any attractive women who work at these types of places. Now I go out, and I don't pressure myself to meet women in those places that I go to play open mikes or see bands either. I've noticed that I get out a lot more than I used to, and It may be precisely because I don't pressure myself to do any of that.
I may come off as rude or standoffish to at least some of these workers in these business, but when one tries to go in the opposite direction from where there was no fruit to be had, it has to manifest itself in some way. Right?
So the lesser nobility vs. the King of England. Well, I actually see and interact with the lesser nobility, while the King of England might as well be a holographic projection for all the reality that she represents in my world. Soooo, might it be a more viable priority to just try to get along with the lesser nobility and blow off the King?
I think that a lot of celebrity stalkers have this kind of thing going on inside of them, where they may have faced a lot of rejection and heartbreak with the people in their world for a long time, and look to our American royalty to take them away to bigger and better things. I remember reading a story where John Cusack had a woman stalk him. She told reporters that she had been raped, but that the local authorities had done nothing about it, so John Cusack was supposed to be the kind of guy who could make things better for her if only she could get in touch with him I've just been backing up and backing up and backing up these past several years in an effort to see some kind of big picture, and I inadvertently bumped into this phenomenon in my inner world.
Yeah, I think me and this celeb that I've nicknamed the Invisible Woman are done. And sweetheart, if by some snowball's chance in Hell you're actually out there reading this, I've only experienced you as a kind of phantom presence, while these "lesser nobility" women are real 3d people who have as much of a right to exist in my world, both inside and outside, as I do in theirs.
My last post talked about the attractive young or youngish women in my world being like a lesser nobility, and the Invisible Woman being more like this one King of England in the Middle Ages, who sent his guard to cut down a mob of peasants who were deluded into thinking that their king loved them as much as they loved him, and that they would find redress for their grievances against their local nobles through his good graces.
I might have mistakenly given the impression that I bore ill will towards any of the attractive young or youngish women in my world by making this analogy. That's not true. I've found that since I've stopped trying to make these kinds of women into my girlfriend, I don't have much to complain about. I get kind of upset when one of these types tries a little too hard, or way way too hard, to go adversarial on me and paint me as some kind of bad guy in their world, just because they know things about my mental illness combined with my obsessive nature.
I'm talking primarily about women who work at businesses such as food service or other retail businesses and who have to interact with broad cross-sections of the general public, including myself. I'm getting out more and I am not so much in a position where these types are the ONLY attractive women I'm around. I've just extended the deal with myself that I don't have to pressure myself to ask anyone out or even try much to talk to any attractive women who work at these types of places. Now I go out, and I don't pressure myself to meet women in those places that I go to play open mikes or see bands either. I've noticed that I get out a lot more than I used to, and It may be precisely because I don't pressure myself to do any of that.
I may come off as rude or standoffish to at least some of these workers in these business, but when one tries to go in the opposite direction from where there was no fruit to be had, it has to manifest itself in some way. Right?
So the lesser nobility vs. the King of England. Well, I actually see and interact with the lesser nobility, while the King of England might as well be a holographic projection for all the reality that she represents in my world. Soooo, might it be a more viable priority to just try to get along with the lesser nobility and blow off the King?
I think that a lot of celebrity stalkers have this kind of thing going on inside of them, where they may have faced a lot of rejection and heartbreak with the people in their world for a long time, and look to our American royalty to take them away to bigger and better things. I remember reading a story where John Cusack had a woman stalk him. She told reporters that she had been raped, but that the local authorities had done nothing about it, so John Cusack was supposed to be the kind of guy who could make things better for her if only she could get in touch with him I've just been backing up and backing up and backing up these past several years in an effort to see some kind of big picture, and I inadvertently bumped into this phenomenon in my inner world.
Yeah, I think me and this celeb that I've nicknamed the Invisible Woman are done. And sweetheart, if by some snowball's chance in Hell you're actually out there reading this, I've only experienced you as a kind of phantom presence, while these "lesser nobility" women are real 3d people who have as much of a right to exist in my world, both inside and outside, as I do in theirs.
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