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I may never...

2/1/2020

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I may never pursue an unavailable woman again.  Now, a chance certainly exists where I might go down that road again.  One can say the same about whether I smoke or drink again as well.  I might do any of those things I've worked so hard to stop, including the pursuit of an unavailable woman.   Why, just today I speculated that someone I've designated as unavailable might actually care for me some.  That kind of belief might take me down all kinds of shitty roads.  But, if I want to have complete honesty about these kinds of addictive things, I stand a chance of never smoking again, never drinking again, never doing drugs again, and never making it about an unavailable woman again.

This last one, I wrote in June about how I had no desire to sign on for an Unavailable Woman Deal.  An Unavailable Woman Deal consists of this: I bend over backwards to accommodate the notion of this person in my world and in my heart, and try to come up with a solution that benefits us both and that those around us find acceptable and even desirable, and in exchange for my efforts, the other party gets to do whatever the hell they want.  Now the deal I signed on for instead had the other party doing whatever the hell they wanted, for sure, but I just made no effort to keep up my end of that Unavailable Woman Deal.

I even approached four other women for social reasons.  "Approached" includes following someone on Instagram, but unfollowing that person when they didn't reply to a comment of mine on one of their posts.  That little, tiny bit of interaction counts for more of an approach for social reasons than I ever approached this person I've written about so much since around June of last year.  I've never even talked to this person, and I may never do so.  She just works at a business I patronize, and I don't feel particularly obliged to interact with her, because I've got her as unavailable, and I don't pursue unavailable women anymore, and I may never pursue such a one again.
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