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I ain't talkin' hit punch push or shove/  I'm the hockey goon of love

10/25/2021

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I dropped by my tracks for Cris to mix and master today.  He said he thinks he can work with what I gave him, and that I should have my album mixed and mastered in a week or so.  One song, "Hockey Goon of Love," has the lyrics, "But if you want to shit on me/ 'cause word came from above/ I'll have my say about it/ I'm the hockey goon of love," and, "I'm called the enforcer/ I just do just what I can/ truth to tell, most weekend nights/ I use the palm of my right hand."

There's this radio announcer on the local classical station who specializes in music from the Baroque era and earlier.  Several years ago she announced that she took a position in Europe to do a deep, scholarly study of a Baroque era composer she helped elevate and champion, and that she would leave Austin and the station, for good, very shortly.  A few months later, I tuned into the station, and she still had her position, but she had a new surname.  That's all I knew of that matter.

Yeah, if I had someone in my world who seemed to just want to relegate me to some diminished, demeaning role, but I suspected that I meant more to them than they let on, I'd throw down some ultimatum too, but only if I really cared for them.  If this person worked at a business I patronize, and I finally had an opportunity to invite them to some nice, daytime, low-commitment event that I was a part of, but I also wanted them to know that this was it, I'd give them fair warning before the opportunity came to invite them to this event.  I'm just thinking, "What if?," out loud here, understand?

The fair warning would consist of me stating that I'm totally willing to patronize another  business that offered the same services if things didn't come off, and I suspected that things didn't come off because they just want me to play some bullshit role in their life.  I'd totally give fair warning about that.  I'm not talking about marriage here, understand, just invite them somewhere where they'd only have to hang out for a little bit etc., and if they wanted to split soon after they arrived, okay.

Understand, I think I treat my love interests as well as I can possibly treat them.  I think an appropriately expressed ultimatum, given how I often manage to keep things viable for quite some time with no real acknowledgement from the other party that, no, things haven't totally gone to shit, thanks in large part to me; I think a courteously administered ultimatum would at least allow me to move on if the other party blows it off or otherwise flouts it in some way.  Yeah, I'd do that to settle things once and for all.

Oh, and one more thing.  Sometimes I'm out for a walk or at a coffee shop, and some attractive woman will say something, something that I can hear, like, "I love him too much." I hate to say it, but my grandiose way of thinking can find succor in such things, and I can take them out of context and apply them to my own situation somehow and....and.  Who do I complain to about this stuff?  The Universe? I can be swayed by that kind of stuff to give a frustrating love interest ONE MORE CHANCE.  I admit it.  Yep. Mental illness.  But, there will come a time when I just walk away, and attractive young women at coffee shops or on my walks can say whatever the hell they want, and it will make no difference.

Oh, and this person, let's say they work at a business I patronize. Let's just say that for the sake of argument.  If they call in sick to work during the week that I want to throw down this ultimatum, they'd better really be sick.  And, I'd want to know about it in a timely manner, AND they'd better be prepared to make amends for letting this opportunity blow by them, or I'm gone, gone, gone.  

Oh, and one more thing, if I were to find myself in such a situation one of these days, I constantly maintain and improve upon a very well-constructed Bullshit-O-Meter that can detect the first sign of total bullshit from such a party as the ones that so concern me so frequently.  If such a party wanted to try to get anything past this well-oiled Bullshit-O-Meter, THEY'D BETTER DO A DAMN GOOD JOB OF IT.



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