In the last post I talked about the negative role model of my behavior towards Veronica Ortega in 1985. I came up with a mistake I'd made from the get go when I decided on our first date that I loved her. I cited a huge mistake I made in idealizing her and not taking into account other possibilities of what she was after.
What she was really after ties into another huge mistake I made with her, and it's one I've made repeatedly over the years, and it continues to serve as a big mistake I could totally make in the foreseeable future. When I told myself that I loved Veronica on our first date, I assumed that she'd accepted me on a much more profound level than she ever actually did. I based this assumption on the fact that she did agree to go out with me on this one date.
I could totally make the same mistake today with any number of women in my world; a barista or waitress, someone I know on a more social level, the Invisible Woman (boy, if she ever really showed up in a not-too-fucked-up way that could totally happen); in short, anyone who had the combination of beauty and friendliness and/or seeming availability that spelled "opportunity" for me in the past where there never really was one.
I guess a real pro wouldn't assume a comfortable level of acceptance until...and even then, I've known of and been the type that assumes, to some extent, ownership of someone because of one or two rolls in the hay.
It used to be that I would try to save these brilliant thoughts for a once a week entry, but lately I've been more along the lines of, "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." This one, the assumption of acceptance, has been really helpful, because lately I've interacted with some women in a way that has put me on the fence. Okay, I gave away some comics and talked to some women, but I don't really want anyone seeing me as a freak because I make erroneous assumptions about anyone's level of interest and availability.
What she was really after ties into another huge mistake I made with her, and it's one I've made repeatedly over the years, and it continues to serve as a big mistake I could totally make in the foreseeable future. When I told myself that I loved Veronica on our first date, I assumed that she'd accepted me on a much more profound level than she ever actually did. I based this assumption on the fact that she did agree to go out with me on this one date.
I could totally make the same mistake today with any number of women in my world; a barista or waitress, someone I know on a more social level, the Invisible Woman (boy, if she ever really showed up in a not-too-fucked-up way that could totally happen); in short, anyone who had the combination of beauty and friendliness and/or seeming availability that spelled "opportunity" for me in the past where there never really was one.
I guess a real pro wouldn't assume a comfortable level of acceptance until...and even then, I've known of and been the type that assumes, to some extent, ownership of someone because of one or two rolls in the hay.
It used to be that I would try to save these brilliant thoughts for a once a week entry, but lately I've been more along the lines of, "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." This one, the assumption of acceptance, has been really helpful, because lately I've interacted with some women in a way that has put me on the fence. Okay, I gave away some comics and talked to some women, but I don't really want anyone seeing me as a freak because I make erroneous assumptions about anyone's level of interest and availability.
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