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Groundhog Day revisited

3/4/2021

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Right now I'm working on issue number 23 of Richy Vegas Comics.  I've completed fifty-eight of eighty pages of the final illustration phase.  I hope to finish in about two weeks.  This issue covers the run-up to my initial hospitalization.  Specifically, the several days before when I could no longer sleep up until my mom takes me to the psychiatrist, I go to the hospital, lose it pretty bad in the PICU, and get my first dose of medicine, which puts me to sleep after staying awake for four nights and days.

The series has two more volumes after this one, which cover my first hospitalization in August of 1992, my release from this hospitalization, my second hospitalization that next December, my convalescence in Big Spring at my dad's in the Spring of 1993, my return to Austin, and I plan to end the series as I sit on a couch at a party in September of 1993.

At a tiny four-plex movie theater in Big Spring, I saw the Bill Murray movie Groundhog Day.  I just watched it tonight for the second time in its entirety.  In a blog post of a few days ago, I said that my current deal with that young woman at that business makes me feel like the Bill Murray character in Groundhog Day.  In Groundhog Day,  Bill Murray has to relive the same day over and over and over again until he can get the Andie MacDowell character to fall in love with him.  The film shows him becoming a better and better person when he finally starts to get things right.  He gets to the point where he embraces his fate to relive the same day over and over as he improves and succeeds in capturing Anidie MacDowell's fancy every successive day after his initial breakthrough.

This premise is really good.  I will just tweak my own deal a little from the movie's plot progression.  I find it beneficial to keep myself at arm's length from such a one as this young woman at this business.  Not to inhibit her from getting close to me, but to inhibit me from trying to get close to her.

This effort to keep myself at arm's length from this young woman may make me a cowardly son of a bitch scumbag who is afraid of her and of taking a risk in general, but the reason I do it is because I don't want things to go to the same old shit places they always seem to go when I try to get with elusive women such as her.  Those places include mental breakdowns and incidents that I wished had never happened.  Call me a cowardly scumbag, missy, but realize this, it's been two years and a month since you started in on me, and I still think about you all the time and care for you a great deal.  So even by your reckoning, you must have succeeded in your efforts to bring about such an outcome in my being, and for my part, things never went sideways as a result.  I think I've proven how much I care for you by my efforts, and that satisfies me.   


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