I think about all the people I get so mad at in my mind, all the time. I've talked often about how my attempts to forgive women In the past did not really represent real attempts at forgiveness. I came to the conclusion that I wanted something material in exchange for my forgiveness, and that did not make it "real" forgiveness. I found myself in compromised situations at times, and I never got what I wanted from these women. The things I wanted included sex, love, acceptance, companionship, etc.
I believe that forgiveness involves a process of letting go of one's pain and moving on with one's life. Therefore, a better concept of forgiveness might possess these key characteristics: forgive someone, but in forgiving that person, one need not feel obligated to be friends with that person, nor associate with that person in any meaningful way, nor even really like that person. Think about it. If people felt obliged to maintain wrecked friendships, acquaintanceships, or any other relationships with people who have committed hurtful actions against them, then no one would have much motivation to forgive anyone else.
I've carried this thought around with me for the last several days, and it makes sense. The usual scenarios I run in my mind that involve me really going off on someone from my past just stop at the idea that I can forgive that person, yet still maintain the current status of separation from that person. That feels more like a genuine process of letting go of my pain and moving on, rather than trying to come off like some great guy about their hurtful attitudes and behaviors towards me.
I believe that forgiveness involves a process of letting go of one's pain and moving on with one's life. Therefore, a better concept of forgiveness might possess these key characteristics: forgive someone, but in forgiving that person, one need not feel obligated to be friends with that person, nor associate with that person in any meaningful way, nor even really like that person. Think about it. If people felt obliged to maintain wrecked friendships, acquaintanceships, or any other relationships with people who have committed hurtful actions against them, then no one would have much motivation to forgive anyone else.
I've carried this thought around with me for the last several days, and it makes sense. The usual scenarios I run in my mind that involve me really going off on someone from my past just stop at the idea that I can forgive that person, yet still maintain the current status of separation from that person. That feels more like a genuine process of letting go of my pain and moving on, rather than trying to come off like some great guy about their hurtful attitudes and behaviors towards me.
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