I've just spent a lot of time thinking about love matters large and small. For me, right now, because I don't feel I have the energy or inclination to go into everything I've thought about this morning, it comes down to this: I expect myself to function as my main provider of personal happiness. Whomever I select as a love interest, sex partner, girlfriend, spouse etc., whether now or in the future, I don't expect them to shoulder the burden of making me happy. I have my problems, god knows, and I don't expect a person I care for to solve them to the extent that I can if I put my mind to it. I got this concept from Feeling Good. David Burns says something like; making oneself the one responsible for one's happiness provides that person with the most reliable resource for that goal.
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