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Etiquette Quandry?

8/1/2017

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Several years ago when I still did this sort of thing, I asked a waitress at a diner that I patronized on a date.  She said that she was seeing someone, I begged off, thanked her for being nice about it, and that was that, I thought.  I few months later I see her out and about at a coffee shop with another waitress who worked there.  The waitress that I had asked out had quit that restaurant by that time.  

The one I'd asked out was being kind of surly.  That was noteworthy, because in the months before I'd asked her out, she was always really SUPER  friendly with me: you know, "Hi!,"  and attending to me in a really over-the-top, super friendly way.  But, when I saw her at this coffee shop, she didn't appreciate my humor and she kind of talked to me in a snarling kind of way.  Plus, I thought that she might have had something going on with this waitress she was hanging out with at this coffee shop. 

I finish my coffee and say, "See ya," and leave.  I think nothing of it.  Several months later I see this Jekyll/ Hyde waitress on Facebook and put in a friend request.  She never accepted it.

What was up with that?  What could I have possibly done wrong to not get my friend request accepted?  She was just six or seven years younger than me, she was being really nice to me at he restaurant, she was nice enough to me when she turned me down that time I asked her out, and it seemed like a friend request was the thing to do.  What I figured was that she wanted to lower the boom on me when or if I'd tried to glom onto her and that other woman at that coffee shop.  I mean, they were talking about where they were going to go next, and that was when I took my leave.  Did she really think that I would invite myself along?  I'm not like that.

So yeah, I hope that feminism hasn't gotten so excessive that I am not allowed to at least ASK a woman if she single in one of these retail/ food service jobs at these businesses I patronize- that is, of course, only if she's being as SUPER friendly as was the case with this one waitress over a considerable span of time.  

There was this queen-bee-really-attractive waitress at this diner who had a big hard-on to do a shitbird number on me, and when I took this queen bee waitress to school over a period on months, I guess this other waitress decided to get all punk-ass.  I suppose.  

Mostly, I'm surly and standoffish enough these days where this issue does not crop up, but if it does, I will not consider it much of a dilemma to just bust some kind of move- as in just straight up ask about a woman's deal or whatnot.  All that experience asking those women out has to count for something, I guess.  Even if she's twenty-two, she's still an adult, so it's reasonable enough to expect such a one to act like one in such a situation.  Right? 



 
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