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Entrapment, not empowerment

9/2/2021

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In my last post I talked about an occupational hazard a lot of attractive, young female employees face in retail and service industry jobs.  Namely, the unsolicited invitations for a date or other social activity by a male customer while they work at their job.  I talked about how this kind of thing must get old pretty fast.  I also talked about the two occasions where a female employee first broached the subject of seeing me outside of their work first, and how this works so much better, so much so that such a dynamic may constitute the way these employees approach the subject of going out with customers.  That would mean that such a dynamic upends the traditional one where the man initially brings up such a subject in any given setting.

Okay, I'm down with that.  Whatever works.  Right?  But I'll lay this one on you.  One very attractive female employee of a retail business I frequently patronize started giving these sultry, flirtatious looks whenever I found myself around her at her place of employment.  I knew her first name from her name tag, so I decided to try and find her on social media.  I found her alright, along with references to her two kids and her fiancé.  That put an end to any effort I might have made to reach out to her socially.  

The thing of it is, before too long, this young, very attractive woman started acting vey rudely towards me at this same job she worked; as if I'd done something wrong.  I've had two pretty clear cut examples of the same kind of behavior in other settings, one in college, one at an art gallery, that I came to the same conclusion about this series of exchanges with this female employee.  I came to the conclusion that the young, very attractive female employee sought to entrap me in a cruel rejection game she tried to get going.  Basically, she'd flirt with me hard, then when I asked her out or anything like that, the ax would fall.

I can think of a few reasons why someone such as her would behave this way, none of them make me feel particularly sympathetic to her point of view.  One reason might consist of a desire on her part to simply win at this kind of game, and since she lost she wanted to take it out on me.  One reason might consist of a desire to prove I'm some kind of obsessive weirdo who doesn't know enough to leave this kind of rattlesnake alone.  That would make me some kind of a bad guy in her little drama world.  And, on the bad guy angle, one reason might consist of trying to punish me for some offense I committed against womankind that she'd heard about somewhere.  These reasons seem to sum up where such horrible, abusive behavior might come from, in my experience.

I think these women who behave this way, and I have several examples in my past where I took the bait and women such as her won at their games, see this behavior as empowering to themselves as women.  I, of course, don't see it that way at all.  I see it as simple, cut and dried entrapment.  This kind of behavior explains the whole reason I initiated the, "What if I turned my back on love?" experiment back in 1988, and I why I so eagerly decided to revive the experiment in 2012.  See the post from January/ February 2016 titled, "I'm not bad," to read an outline of this experiment.

If any young, attractive female employees at businesses seek to capture my fancy through such flirtations while I patronize their business, and they engage in these flirtations out of a sincere desire to get to know me better, but they don't want to go so far as to broach the subject of an outside-of-work social encounter with me, well, good luck with that.  If any young, attractive female employees of businesses I patronize want to explore the possibility that I could be the love of their life through such flirtations, but they don't want to go so far as to broach the subject of a date, well, then I sincerely apologize.  That might just make us two entirely different people with radically different experiences in life and not much in common, and that might just mean that our love is not to be.


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