Don't want to set myself up

In the Spring of 1984, when I attended UT-Austin as a freshman,  I got really hung up on a girl in my art class named Cathy.  She had a serious boyfriend, and that really bummed me out.  I really went into a tailspin over Cathy.  I've often thought about her over the years for several reasons.  She seemed pretty nice, but later that year I encountered "Katy."  Katy was not nice at all.  She had a boyfriend too, but she told me that she'd broken up with him and that she loved me when I confessed my virgin status to her on our first date on New Year's Eve.  Katy seemed to represent a harbinger of things to come, too.  I really didn't get hung up on nice girls who just had boyfriends like Cathy anymore, and the women I did get hung up on just got meaner and meaner and meaner.

I've concluded that because I got so hung up on Cathy and became so bummed out over what now seems to me to be a really minor thing-that she had a boyfriend- that tendency to get so easily bummed out over such a thing made me extremely vulnerable to the Katies, the Wandas, and the Lindas of the world.  I would see  women such as them as heaven sent, and the shit would happen.  

Last night I got a little bummed out in regards to that young woman I still go on about.  I thought about Cathy and all of the girls after her.  I concluded that getting bummed out over this person would just leave me vulnerable to getting fucked over by someone else later on down the line.  I'm not bummed out about this person now, and I doubt that I will get bummed out about her within the foreseeable future.