-If I were to summarize my tactics for dealing with the weird kinds of aggression exhibited by mean girl types who want to try to take me down, I would characterize my approach as deescalate and disengage. I find this approach to be the most effective, and by extension, the most socially acceptable.
Now, when one is in an actual physical altercation with a male, maybe the best thing to do is try to win the fight, I don't know, I'm not a real assbeater type. Physical means of resolving conflict with mean girl types is not really an option in the scenarios I outline on this blog.
The first thing one must do is have the ability to recognize when a mean girl is going adversarial on one. I find the best tactic for recognition is, if one suspects a mean girl is about to start in on one, to let whatever supposed "opportunity" that such a person is supposedly presenting for love, sex, companionship etc. slip through one's fingers. Let it go. Observe. Do they get angry, upset? Bingo. That can end aggression from a mean girl type right off the bat. Letting an opportunity go from someone who is under suspicion is my prime example of deescalation. If one finds oneself trying this for the first time with someone that they feel could be special, I suggest that one learns what it is like to crash through that initial wall of doubt. It's one thing to let an opportunity go from any old flirt, it's another to let one go from someone that one at least thinks maybe has potential. It takes practice, but it's worth learning how to do this.
I learned to do a bit of a dance with the mean girls in my world who simply insist on engaging with me. With a base of skeptical inquiry, one can learn how to give such a person enough rope to hang themselves in the process. This leads to phase two: disengagement. Simply put, disengagement occurs when one can recognize the bullshit coming from the other party, and one leaves all the rest of the dancing to that other party.
If one has sufficiently developed their deescalation skills, then disengagement is the final break through that wall of doubt onto the other side. At this stage, the skilled practitioner will find it very hard to even want to go back, because one recognizes that there is most likely nothing to go back to.
I maintain this stance when I engage in these tactics with women I suspect are starting in on me: that if I am mistaken in my assessment of this perceived aggression, then if the other party really does care for me and I am wrong, that they would understand my defenses and try being nicer or something.
I've yet to encounter a mean girl type who genuinely wants to make amends after I cold-bust them on their game. It is almost always the case that the mean girl type hates to lose, and if they don't slither off to lick their wounds, they might just try and try again. At most, they will try to sweep things under the rug and do this "let's be friends" bullshit. See the blog post "Nature of Forgiveness" for the perils of acquiescing to this move on their part. I guess that my next step in my own personal growth is to do a better job at holding the mean girl types accountable for their behavior on some level. Typically, mean girl types have lots of options in dating men because they are young and attractive, so they don't really want to hang around long enough to be held accountable. Therefore, the tactics that I have outlined above should do.
I might add that in holding a mean girl accountable, the best tactic might well be, "don't go looking for the street, make the street come looking for you." That is, if there is something they want from you in your space, in your world, then that might be the best opportunity to hold them accountable for whatever it is they have done. Otherwise, just let them go off and take that psycho bitch stuff somewhere else.
Now, when one is in an actual physical altercation with a male, maybe the best thing to do is try to win the fight, I don't know, I'm not a real assbeater type. Physical means of resolving conflict with mean girl types is not really an option in the scenarios I outline on this blog.
The first thing one must do is have the ability to recognize when a mean girl is going adversarial on one. I find the best tactic for recognition is, if one suspects a mean girl is about to start in on one, to let whatever supposed "opportunity" that such a person is supposedly presenting for love, sex, companionship etc. slip through one's fingers. Let it go. Observe. Do they get angry, upset? Bingo. That can end aggression from a mean girl type right off the bat. Letting an opportunity go from someone who is under suspicion is my prime example of deescalation. If one finds oneself trying this for the first time with someone that they feel could be special, I suggest that one learns what it is like to crash through that initial wall of doubt. It's one thing to let an opportunity go from any old flirt, it's another to let one go from someone that one at least thinks maybe has potential. It takes practice, but it's worth learning how to do this.
I learned to do a bit of a dance with the mean girls in my world who simply insist on engaging with me. With a base of skeptical inquiry, one can learn how to give such a person enough rope to hang themselves in the process. This leads to phase two: disengagement. Simply put, disengagement occurs when one can recognize the bullshit coming from the other party, and one leaves all the rest of the dancing to that other party.
If one has sufficiently developed their deescalation skills, then disengagement is the final break through that wall of doubt onto the other side. At this stage, the skilled practitioner will find it very hard to even want to go back, because one recognizes that there is most likely nothing to go back to.
I maintain this stance when I engage in these tactics with women I suspect are starting in on me: that if I am mistaken in my assessment of this perceived aggression, then if the other party really does care for me and I am wrong, that they would understand my defenses and try being nicer or something.
I've yet to encounter a mean girl type who genuinely wants to make amends after I cold-bust them on their game. It is almost always the case that the mean girl type hates to lose, and if they don't slither off to lick their wounds, they might just try and try again. At most, they will try to sweep things under the rug and do this "let's be friends" bullshit. See the blog post "Nature of Forgiveness" for the perils of acquiescing to this move on their part. I guess that my next step in my own personal growth is to do a better job at holding the mean girl types accountable for their behavior on some level. Typically, mean girl types have lots of options in dating men because they are young and attractive, so they don't really want to hang around long enough to be held accountable. Therefore, the tactics that I have outlined above should do.
I might add that in holding a mean girl accountable, the best tactic might well be, "don't go looking for the street, make the street come looking for you." That is, if there is something they want from you in your space, in your world, then that might be the best opportunity to hold them accountable for whatever it is they have done. Otherwise, just let them go off and take that psycho bitch stuff somewhere else.
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