In these past couple of weeks I wrote about a young woman who was very rude to me at a food service business I patronize. She works there, and her manner towards me came out of the blue and caught me completely unawares. I speculated that her move might have been a ploy to vie for crappy love interest status with me.
I've worked too hard on my relationship with women over these last ten, fifteen years or so to make it about someone like that again. It'd be the equivalent of taking up cigarette smoking again. It's been almost sixteen years since I managed to rid myself of a two pack a day habit. Why would I want to start something like that up again? It just wouldn't be the same if I started on that kind of thing again.
By hard work, I mean that I've made it a goal in my relationship with women to have a variety of dating experiences with a variety of women, for one thing. I've gone out with women I wouldn't have given the time of day to in earlier times. I did things like this to expand my frame of reference in regards to the types of women I've had some kinds of experiences with. I would go out with women I didn't find very attractive just to know what it was like to be around someone who would show some kind of positive interest in me. I found it easier to get dates with these women in the first place, which was always a real pain in the ass proposition with the asshole types. I would not be so dismissive of these kinds of women in regards to their interest in me, so that I could usefully compare them to how the more asshole type women would typically behave towards me. How would the asshole type women typically behave towards me? Well, one way they might behave towards me might include being really rude to me one morning when I went into their place of employment.
Another thing I've worked hard on is my overall sobriety from drugs and alcohol. The desire to improve my relationship with women inspired me to quit drugs and alcohol in the first place. In committing to abstinence from drugs and alcohol, I've learned how to spend all of this time I have by myself in more constructive ways. I've produced twelve eighty page comic books, four solo albums, and an album with my old band, as some examples of my increased productivity. I don't want to give these kinds of things up to fret over some jive-ride bullshit from some crapola love interest.
Another thing i've worked REALLY, REALLY hard on is learning how to smell a rat. It helps to not idealize attractive women in general, even going so far as to pick them apart so that one doesn't fall into the trap of thinking that someone is "perfect," when it fact they might just be very attractive and unavailable in some way. Another thing to do is keep a kind of ledger on them, so that when they do something along the lines of treating one in a very rude manner when one goes into their place of employment, that kind of thing can go into the minus column. Another thing to do is not make too big a deal over the times they do seem to treat one better than one has come to expect from them. A good idea would be to note, "whoop de do!" whenever they act just okay towards one.
The very best advice I can give to develop the ability to smell a rat is to just let a supposed "opportunity" slip through one's fingers. If one finds that they just seem to wind up taking chances on the same type of asshole women all the time, what does one have to lose? From my personal experience, this is what it's like to see things on the "other side." Long ago I found out that this is the only realistic way to "know" the types of women who have proven time and again to be elusive whenever I chased after them blindly.
Sometimes the crapola tove interest will take something of an interest in me after attempts to drop their usual turd game on me come to naught. In my experience, the attempts to treat me in some kind of a shabby manner and maybe even try to make me over as some kind of bad guy so that they can and others can justify an out and out ostracism of me have often shown up in their agenda towards me before they show an "interest" in me. Sometimes when this stuff doesn't work, they then show some kind of an "interest" in me that usually involves trying to get me to jump through some hoops, and 'snarl,' 'gnash,' 'grumble,' 'mumble'...that is all, and that's enough. I want more than that kind of crap these days.
I've worked too hard on my relationship with women over these last ten, fifteen years or so to make it about someone like that again. It'd be the equivalent of taking up cigarette smoking again. It's been almost sixteen years since I managed to rid myself of a two pack a day habit. Why would I want to start something like that up again? It just wouldn't be the same if I started on that kind of thing again.
By hard work, I mean that I've made it a goal in my relationship with women to have a variety of dating experiences with a variety of women, for one thing. I've gone out with women I wouldn't have given the time of day to in earlier times. I did things like this to expand my frame of reference in regards to the types of women I've had some kinds of experiences with. I would go out with women I didn't find very attractive just to know what it was like to be around someone who would show some kind of positive interest in me. I found it easier to get dates with these women in the first place, which was always a real pain in the ass proposition with the asshole types. I would not be so dismissive of these kinds of women in regards to their interest in me, so that I could usefully compare them to how the more asshole type women would typically behave towards me. How would the asshole type women typically behave towards me? Well, one way they might behave towards me might include being really rude to me one morning when I went into their place of employment.
Another thing I've worked hard on is my overall sobriety from drugs and alcohol. The desire to improve my relationship with women inspired me to quit drugs and alcohol in the first place. In committing to abstinence from drugs and alcohol, I've learned how to spend all of this time I have by myself in more constructive ways. I've produced twelve eighty page comic books, four solo albums, and an album with my old band, as some examples of my increased productivity. I don't want to give these kinds of things up to fret over some jive-ride bullshit from some crapola love interest.
Another thing i've worked REALLY, REALLY hard on is learning how to smell a rat. It helps to not idealize attractive women in general, even going so far as to pick them apart so that one doesn't fall into the trap of thinking that someone is "perfect," when it fact they might just be very attractive and unavailable in some way. Another thing to do is keep a kind of ledger on them, so that when they do something along the lines of treating one in a very rude manner when one goes into their place of employment, that kind of thing can go into the minus column. Another thing to do is not make too big a deal over the times they do seem to treat one better than one has come to expect from them. A good idea would be to note, "whoop de do!" whenever they act just okay towards one.
The very best advice I can give to develop the ability to smell a rat is to just let a supposed "opportunity" slip through one's fingers. If one finds that they just seem to wind up taking chances on the same type of asshole women all the time, what does one have to lose? From my personal experience, this is what it's like to see things on the "other side." Long ago I found out that this is the only realistic way to "know" the types of women who have proven time and again to be elusive whenever I chased after them blindly.
Sometimes the crapola tove interest will take something of an interest in me after attempts to drop their usual turd game on me come to naught. In my experience, the attempts to treat me in some kind of a shabby manner and maybe even try to make me over as some kind of bad guy so that they can and others can justify an out and out ostracism of me have often shown up in their agenda towards me before they show an "interest" in me. Sometimes when this stuff doesn't work, they then show some kind of an "interest" in me that usually involves trying to get me to jump through some hoops, and 'snarl,' 'gnash,' 'grumble,' 'mumble'...that is all, and that's enough. I want more than that kind of crap these days.
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