One time I wrote a post that talked about my show at the Fish Fry in June, 2018. In that post I frantically put my foot down at the prospect of whether or not to invite someone like her to see my show. She went about her business at her job with her lips tucked between her teeth after she saw me that one time, and I took that to indicate that she may have read that post and thought it funny.
I never asked Cindy out, or gave her a comic book, or gave her a CD, or invited her to see me perform anywhere. Truth to tell, I really didn't go out of my way to talk to her for those several years she worked at this business. The first time I talked to her for any length, I asked her a question related to her job. That occurred earlier this year. Soon after that, I walked into this business where Cindy worked, and when she saw me she curled her lips into snarl, as if to let me know I disgusted her or something. I wrote a sarcastic post titled, "A Fine Romance," that talked about how I'd have to wait ten or twelve more years before I could feel comfortable approaching Cindy for a date, if that snarl on her lips after I talked to her just a little indicated anything. Soon after that post she didn't work there anymore.
I've talked about this one restaurant in posts where this one waitress seemed to have a raging hard-on to take me down, and the years-long battle that ensued. One feature of that battle featured the attentions of Marta. At one point Marta, another waitress at this restaurant, started being really friendly to me. She started saying "Hi" really big and attending to me in a very friendly manner.
After several weeks of this, I stopped patronizing this restaurant for about three months. When I started going there again, Marta started right up again. I let her do this for a couple of more months, and then I asked her out at her job. She said she was seeing someone, but she was nice enough about it.
I gave Marta a couple of my CDs anyway, but she quit soon after. I saw her at a coffee shop with a waitress that still worked at this restaurant not long after Marta quit. Her over the top friendly demeanor at the restaurant was replaced by a surly manner when I tried to interact with her at this coffee shop. I said, "See ya'," and left. I put a Facebook friend request in for Marta a couple of months or so later, but she didn't accept it.
The reason I went ahead and asked Marta out has to do with how she would be so friendly to me. I had some hope that she would go out with me, sure, but I also figured that if her friendliness was some phony put-on, that she would look like a real asshole if she'd been rude and shitty to me when I asked her out, so I felt protected.
With Cindy, I just figured that she had boyfriends or whatever, and she pretty much stayed fairly quiet around me, and overall I'm totally pleased that I didn't ask her out or anything. With Marta, I felt like she couldn't lower the boom if I did ask her out, because she had been so demonstrably friendly with me. With neither woman did I really make any effort to put myself out there for any reason.
So, I give women in my world a choice: I'm wiling to leave women alone, even women I'm really attracted to and like a lot, if they act more like Cindy, or I might take my chances on a woman if she puts herself out there over an extended period of time like Marta. If I really put myself out there towards some young employee at a business I patronize for no other reason than because I am attracted to them, that can bring up issues of harassment. No thanks.