I find actual sexual encounters with women, for the most part, seem to have a random, chaotic quality to them in contrast to the fantasy world a lot of these young, very attractive women inhabit. Or rather, the notion I have of these young, very attractive women. My tendencies toward love addictive actions and behaviors, the obsessiveness towards this or that individual woman, for example; the behaviors and thought patterns seem to betray a desire for order to what still seems to register as an oftentimes indifferent, random experience of the dating universe.
I've found some of my best chances at negotiating my way around this conundrum to reside in the goal of just kind of forming some friendships with women who prove receptive to such an overture. If they don't bite at that opportunity, don't push it. My invitation to that young woman to my comic book show last year represented just about all I wanted to do to try and form some kind of friendship with someone I could just not stop thinking about. Once it became obvious that she had no interest in that, I bailed on the whole deal soon enough.
The process of forming friendships with women, and accepting many of those who indicate an interest in me, requires a more forgiving standard as to which women I will go out with. I don't have to have some wild sex time with every woman I go out with. I think men who only solicit and value friendships with very attractive women don't like women much. I think such a man's need for validation from very attractive women, in many instances, at least those men who resemble me psychologically, will come across rather readily to these same very attractive women, and these men will experience a seemingly endless stream of rejections.
All of this I just wrote I can sum up as a roundabout way of saying that when it comes to actually having sex with a woman, I just try to make hay where I can, and to not feel as if I have to be in love with the person. I still try to approach women I really, really care for, as in the case of that young woman in October of last year, but not to the exclusion of all other experiences available to me with women of all types.
I can't help but feel as if my problems with women represent developmental obstacles to overcome. Whatever tendencies I may still have to chase some hottie to the ends of the earth and back may indicate a stunted growth in regards to the total relationship with women. I think I have overcome this tendency, even if I still obsess on individual women as if I'm still fifteen years old.