I posted some harsh words late last night in regards to someone I called Janine about a time several years ago. Well, I said in previous posts that I did not want to do any pseudo-forgiveness gestures to any one my world right now, or implied that anyway, and so that post might serve as an example of how refraining from super-niceness gestures towards women whom I feel animosity for and yet desire for at the same time might manifest itself.
I've also talked about how the Legend of Richy Vegas preoccupied me this past couple of months, and how I would ruminate on the prospect of whether or not things that only exist in my head would manifest themselves in the world we all know and how that might come about. I said that the several days prior to when I figured something might happen typically marked the time when I would let go of such notions, and so that happens now.
What's left? Well, there's pissing people off. There's always that. I'm so glad I didn't think too long about trying to forgive anyone in my world, because I remember what happened with Katy in 1985 when I tried to "forgive" her. She basically thought I tried to rape her in my truck after I called her for a date some days prior. This "forgiveness" move I'd busted on her in response to her shit towards me fostered a sense of entitlement in me that gave me the idea that I was owed sex in exchange for forgiving her. She didn't see it that way, and I had to apologize for being so shitty to her that night when I called her a couple of days later.
True enough, Katy had been really mean to me. She told me on New Years Eve that she loved me and that she had broken up with her boyfriend etc. after I confessed to her that I was a virgin. She then backed out of our "deal" a couple of weeks later, my virginity still intact. But, that whole jive ass "forgiveness" move the following Summer was all on me, and not a good idea on my part at all. In recent years, I've found myself finally able to unlearn those shitty behaviors and attitudes I acquired back then.
So yes, there's pissing people off, especially women, as an alternative. A ex-friend of mine once advised me to "forgive" some women whose behavior I go into in issue number four of my comic book. That issue's title is, "Anita, You're the Reason I'm Not In Prison." I stupidly followed his advice. He later developed a tendency to physically assault his girlfriends, along with his other great behaviors towards these women, but I'm jumping ahead. One thing this guy said to me on the occasion that he advised me to "forgive" these women: "Do you know who used to call women out on their shit? Vernon Hoe, and they hated him for it." Let's see that's the same "Vernon Hoe" who's been married to the same woman since 1995 and has a daughter who graduated with honors from her prestigious private school and now attends a pretty elite college. That guy dared call women out on their shit instead of just hitting them in the face or something later on down the road when he was in a "committed relationship" with them. What an asshole that Vernon Hoe is!
When some woman busts some cruel rejection move on me, or tries to, I try to see it for what it is. I figure, on some level, they're trying to let me know they are not attracted to me. Understatement, I know, but not obvious enough for me on those occasions when I want to try the "forgiveness" move in hopes of getting the good stuff in return. When I'm attracted to someone, I try to make a good impression on them and get them to like me, and I try not do anything that would put them off. So, I wouldn't try to throw other women up in their face in order to make them feel bad about themselves, as an example. So, I've got to conclude that women who try to do me that way aren't attracted to me at all. That's why I'm so keen on keeping myself at arm's length from these really attractive young women I find myself thinking about from time to time, or more often than that. I want to size them up before I try to get close to them. Yep, there are women in my world who can now consider themselves sized up, thank you very much.
I've also talked about how the Legend of Richy Vegas preoccupied me this past couple of months, and how I would ruminate on the prospect of whether or not things that only exist in my head would manifest themselves in the world we all know and how that might come about. I said that the several days prior to when I figured something might happen typically marked the time when I would let go of such notions, and so that happens now.
What's left? Well, there's pissing people off. There's always that. I'm so glad I didn't think too long about trying to forgive anyone in my world, because I remember what happened with Katy in 1985 when I tried to "forgive" her. She basically thought I tried to rape her in my truck after I called her for a date some days prior. This "forgiveness" move I'd busted on her in response to her shit towards me fostered a sense of entitlement in me that gave me the idea that I was owed sex in exchange for forgiving her. She didn't see it that way, and I had to apologize for being so shitty to her that night when I called her a couple of days later.
True enough, Katy had been really mean to me. She told me on New Years Eve that she loved me and that she had broken up with her boyfriend etc. after I confessed to her that I was a virgin. She then backed out of our "deal" a couple of weeks later, my virginity still intact. But, that whole jive ass "forgiveness" move the following Summer was all on me, and not a good idea on my part at all. In recent years, I've found myself finally able to unlearn those shitty behaviors and attitudes I acquired back then.
So yes, there's pissing people off, especially women, as an alternative. A ex-friend of mine once advised me to "forgive" some women whose behavior I go into in issue number four of my comic book. That issue's title is, "Anita, You're the Reason I'm Not In Prison." I stupidly followed his advice. He later developed a tendency to physically assault his girlfriends, along with his other great behaviors towards these women, but I'm jumping ahead. One thing this guy said to me on the occasion that he advised me to "forgive" these women: "Do you know who used to call women out on their shit? Vernon Hoe, and they hated him for it." Let's see that's the same "Vernon Hoe" who's been married to the same woman since 1995 and has a daughter who graduated with honors from her prestigious private school and now attends a pretty elite college. That guy dared call women out on their shit instead of just hitting them in the face or something later on down the road when he was in a "committed relationship" with them. What an asshole that Vernon Hoe is!
When some woman busts some cruel rejection move on me, or tries to, I try to see it for what it is. I figure, on some level, they're trying to let me know they are not attracted to me. Understatement, I know, but not obvious enough for me on those occasions when I want to try the "forgiveness" move in hopes of getting the good stuff in return. When I'm attracted to someone, I try to make a good impression on them and get them to like me, and I try not do anything that would put them off. So, I wouldn't try to throw other women up in their face in order to make them feel bad about themselves, as an example. So, I've got to conclude that women who try to do me that way aren't attracted to me at all. That's why I'm so keen on keeping myself at arm's length from these really attractive young women I find myself thinking about from time to time, or more often than that. I want to size them up before I try to get close to them. Yep, there are women in my world who can now consider themselves sized up, thank you very much.
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