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Blo-Hole Acres

1/4/2017

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Here it is folks.  The first single from "Self Portrait of Me."  When I was in college I hung out with a bunch of gay guys.  One night I went over to their house, they weren't there, but the door was unlocked, so I went in.  I figured they went out for the night, so I decided to wait for them to get back.  They would leave their door unlocked all the time, and it was a pretty sketchy neighborhood too.  I guess they had locked themselves out enough times over the years to not bother with it, or maybe they saw catching an intruder after a night of drinking in the bars as, maybe a dangerous situation, but maybe a situation rife with possibilities too.

Anyhoo, Micheal had this book on the shelf that looked interesting.  It was by a guy named Laud Humphries and it was called, "Tearoom Trade: private sex in public places,"  It was about bathroom sex.  Laud Humphries was an Episcopalian minister who set out to do an anthroplocigal study of male-on-male bathroom sex.  "Tearoom Trade" is now considered a textbook on how NOT to do an anthropological study, because he does not inform the men he studies that he is not really a voyuer/lookout, but is in fact an anthroplogist doing a study of bathroom sex.

Maybe not good social science, but a hell of a good read.  I read "Tearoom Trade" from cover to cover and left the house before anyone showed up.  I even think those guys were in Houston that weekend.

I copped the arrangement from an arrangement Johnny Horton's "Sink the Bismarck."  So maybe try to sound like Johnny Horton when you sing and play it.


Blo-hole Acres
D,G,A
B↓↑B↓↑

D
Well my name is Tommy T
                            A
And I’m a family man
D
Got a wife and a boy and a little girl
                              A
And I do just what I can
G                                       G
Well I’m headed to a reststop
A                               D
I’m headed for their can
D
We call it Blo-hole Acres
 A                                     D
In the stall I’ll make my stand.


The game’s show hard get sucked
It’s in writing on the wall
Well I've seen a side of this old world
When I’m waiting in stall
Don’t know exactly what I feel
I don't think that it’s pride
When I head to Blo-hole Acres
For my fifteen minute bride.

Dan stands by the window
And he’s a lookout man
Dan clucks like a  chicken
Says what’s headed to the can
Well chicken’s a game for the strong
You don’t know what to plan
Does he know of Blo-hole Acres
Might know nothing of this can.


The kid sits in the next stall
Through the glory hole I peek
Oh my god it’s my own boy
I’m speechless as he speaks
Zip goes his fly
He sticks it through
“It’s twenty for a suck.
We call it Blo-hole Acres
If I show hard I get sucked.”

My mind is in a fever
What the hell is going on
He says "old man you’re peepin’ through
And I know just what you want
The glory hole’s for peepin’
The blo-hole’s for the suck
If you come to more than crap and pee
Then buddy, you’re in luck.”

I flee Blo-hole Acres
‘cuz I’m a family man
Thank god he don’t know it was me
As my car speeds from the can
Before too long I’m headed home
It didn’t get too far
She asks, “What’s with the Buick?
Why I loaned Billy that car.”

Solo by Chuck Pinnell

Well the lawyers were called
And I’m a family man
If only zombies roamed the Earth
The Acres would still stand
The glory hole’s for peepin’ 
The blo-hole’s for the suck
If you come to more than crap and pee
Then buddy, you’re in luck.

Richy Vegas 5/3/2014

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