I've come to understand after failure upon failure to really pull this off that it is pretty much futile to think in terms of winning someone over from not having an attraction to me to having an attraction to me. After all, I'm not someone who can be won over like that. I base so much of my attraction on how good a woman looks, and that is the first thing that one notices, that I have never been won over from a position of not being attracted to someone to becoming attracted to them. Am I supposed to believe that these young women are so very different from me?
That is my high road take on the my world as it stands. Now, on to other business: I have to finish twenty-eight pages of my latest issue of Richy Vegas Comics. That's still quite a bit, so I'm not really close to finishing yet. I figure that I will finish well before the end of February, though. I decided to take a day off from the book, today, after working thirteen days in a row on it.
I'm going on a trip in the Spring. I've already charged a lot of it on my card, and paid cash for other parts. I'm going to have to concentrate on paying for this trip in the coming months.
The music is coming along pretty well. A couple of weeks ago I performed "Three Days In the Tickle" at two different venues. I just have to keep at it to make sure that I really have it memorized. It's a long song- seven or eight minutes. Next week I want to perform "Poison On Thirteen," and Chuck and myself's arrangement of "The Cuckoo," a traditional song. I did a song called "Sara" at Cheatham St. last Wednesday. It was intense and gut wrenching. I tried to follow it up with the much lighter, "My Girlfriend Is a Hatesong." Fucking Crickets, man. My voice was still quavering and breaking from "Sara," and the audience was still taking "Sara" in, so there were zero laughs for "My Girlfriend..." It got boocoo laughs at the Posse East open mike a few weeks ago.