When I first received the gift three years ago, I didn't think anything of it. I figured that it got sent to the wrong person, or that Amazon was just trying to get rid of some inventory, or that this was some kind of gift from Amazon to acknowledge that I was a good customer.
Longtime readers of this blog will recall the post from January first 2017 when I first mentioned the gift of the CD and the coffee beans. In between the time I received that gift and the post from January 2017, a vision of yet another glorious chapter in the already-bursting-with-glory Legend of Richy Vegas came to me during the Summer of 2016. In late December 2016 I ordered the Best of Badfinger CD from Amazon. No sooner did I get it into my possession than it disappeared. Around that time I spotted the CD that I'd received as a gift from the previous Spring lying on the floor in one of my rooms. I gave the CD another listen and I decided that it was really pretty good.
So naturally, I added it all up and decided that this beautiful young pop star was a secret admirer, because she knew all about the Legend of Richy Vegas too. You see, I figured that, naturally, that she'd hired some people to break into my house and steal the Badfinger CD. because it had that track, "Day After Day," on it. The beginning lines of "Day After Day" go, "I remember finding out about you..."
Well I suggest that readers that are not familiar with the progression of my thought processes on this subject go back and read my posts from pretty much all of 2017 and into 2018. The initial thrill that I could have a secret admirer in the form of this famous woman morphed into speculation that I was the target of a campaign of harassment and intimidation. Things played out to the point where I don't feel as if I'm under the spell of this woman, and that I haven't been under any kind of spell involving her for quite some time now.
Which brings me to the gift I received today. I called Amazon's customer service number and inquired about it. The woman on the phone said that someone did indeed deliberately send me an anonymous gift of the iPad. She wouldn't give the name of the person whose account in was under, but she said I could try to guess. I told this woman that I have a major mental illness, and that my guesses would involve people in a realm of reality that this woman on the phone and myself would not acknowledge as being part of a reality we shared. So I declined to guess. She did say that I could flag my account, and that no one could send me anonymous gifts anymore. I opted to do just that.
People out there might think, "Dude, why didn't you just give her a few names, including the name of this famous pop star, and see if you had a hit? What do you have to lose?" Here's my answer: In order for me to go about my day to day business and function on a productive level, I've found it necessary to draw up certain boundaries between the kind of stuff that goes on in my head, which many people would find bizarre and irrational, and the day to day reality which I and those around me would more readily acknowledge as being relevant to our respective life circumstances.
I'll give an example: The day before New Year's Eve, I went to see Kinky Friedman play a solo show at Stubb's. The last time I was really sick with psychosis, early 1995, I had a hallucination involving Kinky. I documented a version of this hallucination in comics form and put it in the first issue of Richy Vegas Comics in 1999. I sent this issue to Kinky's dad, who was friends with my mother, along with a note putting the whole thing into context, and a request that Tom send the book onto Kinky.
Kinky never wrote back, and I let it go at that. Now, at this show at Stubb's in late December, I walked up to Kinky and introduced myself before he went on and did his set. I mentioned that my mom knew his late father. I told him of the two occasions my mother was around him, and I said how much of an honor it was to meet him, and that I was a big fan, and that this was the first time for me to see him perform, and I ended it with, "Break a leg, buddy." Kinky smiled, with an unlit stogie in his mouth, said, "Thank you," and I walked off.
So my point is, that I didn't start in on this stuff about the hallucination that involved Kinky, or even ask him about the comic book, because I just didn't want to bother him. After the show, he signed my T-shirt for me, and he seemed glad to talk to me, so I think I did the right thing.
I plan on donating the iPad to the Austin Clubhouse. I might also tell one or two of the staff about how triggering it was for me to get this gift today. If any of them want to call Amazon customer service and give them the tracking number and play guessing games as to who sent this gift to me, they are welcome to. I doubt they'll do it, and I certainly don't require that any staff do this for me. I think it's kind of stupid that I would have had to sit there and throw out names to this woman instead of her just telling me, but at least I can request not to have gifts of this nature sent to me.
Was this an attempt on the Invisible Woman's part to make amends for all the shit that seemed to start with the gift in 2016? I don't give a shit. Fuck that asshole! I mean, if she or anyone else wanted to really make amends, I would want a full disclosure of who these people are and an apology in writing for all of the intimidation and harassment I perceived them visiting on me. I mean, god forbid this famous pop star, if she were really involved, should TARNISH HER BRAND with that kind of gesture. Oh, wouldn't that be terrible for her. Right? Fuck her! Fuck her running. For all I know this gift was an indicator that there will be more attempts to intimidate and harass me in the near future, so what am I supposed to think about that? I'll save the tracking number, but that's about it.
An addendum (I think that's the right term): I just inspected my present and found out that it is NOT an actual iPad but an iPad CASE. What the fuck am I supposed to do with an iPad case with no iPad? Maybe the anonymous gift giver who sent this was planning on sending an iPad later. In that case, they can just shove the iPad up their ass and I'll just throw away the case.