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Accepted friend request, then rescinded.  What's up with that?

10/14/2018

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This past weekend I met a woman who was pretty attractive and seemed pretty nice.  I decided to put in a Facebook friend request for her after I got home.  I put in the request the next evening (Saturday), and when she accepted it, that made me pretty happy.

This past evening I tried to search for her on my list of friends, and her name did not come up.  I searched Facebook to see if she'd left the site entirely, for perhaps the reasons people leave Facebook these days, but no, she was still on Facebook.  When I found her, I had the option of putting in another friend request for her, which I did not do.

I've thought of several possible reasons why she would drop me as a friend so quickly.  One could be that someone told her about what a bad guy I was, or she read some of this stuff on my blog, and dropped me out of concern for her personal safety.  Well, that's at least a kind of understandable reason, though I at least would have liked the chance to advocate for my side of whatever issues she had with me, but not matter.  I can just let her go and leave it at that.

Another possibility is that she had a jealous boyfriend who is three feet up her ass all the time and won't have her being Facebook friends with a guy he doesn't know.  Again, if she chooses to be in a relationship with someone like that, there's really nothing I can do about that.

The remaining possibilities I can think of involve the prospect that she doesn't really care what kind of an impression she makes on me.  Let's go over one, two, or three.  Shall we?  One possibility is that she thought I was someone else, and when she found out I was not the person she thought I was, she rescinded her acceptance for that reason.  Again, the overriding conclusion I can make is that she doesn't care what I'll think of such a move, so that makes her a write-off in that scenario.

Another reason might be that she's gay, but so what?  Like I can't understand if she replied to a personal message I might send with that explanation?  I guess that would do a pretty good job of explaining why she doesn't care what kind of impression she makes on me; she's gay, AND she's an asshole.

She might be going through a rough time right now, for some reason.  She seemed alright when I met her the other night, but one never knows, does one.  That would be the most acceptable explanation of this last category, so I guess I'd have to give her that.

If she's not going through a rough time, that would lead me to another, less savory, explanation.  Maybe she saw the gist of the things I blog about; my mental illness, my relationship with women, etc.  She might have decided that I wasn't a guy worth knowing better, and so it didn't matter to her that she dropped my request.

Okay, no one's obliged to want to know me better.  BUT, and this is big, a subset of such a sentiment is that she's trying to make some player move.  The move is this: the right hand gives, the left hand takes away.  This kind of player move is designed to reap maximum attention with as little effort as possible.  So, the right hand accepts my friend request, the left hand takes it away.

If this blog post affords her the kind and quality of attention she desires as a result of such a move, well, it's more of a testament to her and her issues with being who she is than a statement about me and my issues, in my opinion.  If, on the other hand, she's really having a rough time of it for some reason, I apologize.  But, if she's making some kind of callous player move, I might suggest a creative writing class or art class or maybe musical instrument instruction so that she may find more socially acceptable forms of self-expression.  That is all.
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