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A viable frame of reference

4/18/2023

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In a blog post from August 13th of 2020, I bring up Snolly, a young woman I found myself in a situation with in 1996 through 1997.  The post has the title, "They're not me."  I go into this story in more detail in issue five of my Richy Vegas Comics, and I know I went into greater detail in another bog post from before 2020, but I don't exactly remember exactly when or the title of the more detailed post.  Those people acted like preprogrammed robots towards me, for all I could tell.  I've found myself dealing with these same types of people in similar situations since then too.  I don't mean fifteen or even ten years ago, but more like up until recently.

I went to a recovery meeting tonight.  During the meditation portion of the meeting, how I interacted with Snolly the last time I saw her came to me as I sat there trying to chill out.  I knew I didn't want to ardently pursue her in light of the notion of me she played to the previous year.  I just made small talk with her at a Halloween party in 1997, and decided after a few minutes of that to go to a grocery store and get cigarettes.  The whole tone of our small talk remained friendly, non-confrontational, and not at all accusatory from either one of us towards the other.  When I returned to the party with my cigarettes, she had left, and I've not seen her from that day to this.

I decided that's a good way to be towards any attractive young woman I might see these days who might have had the idea of going on some kind of crusade to take me down.  The young guys like David and Joel who knew all about the situation concerning "Snolly" and "Lane" would invariably act really happy to see me in the years that followed, and they would go out of their way to say hi to me and talk to me at places like the Scratch Acid show in 2007.  David saw my name and contact info on a comic book convention exhibitor list and took the trouble to write me in 2011, a day or two after the convention.  Yeah, I wouldn't have any trouble being nice to someone who reminded me of Snolly if I saw them these days.  I may not really want to put myself out there in order to get with them, but that doesn't mean I couldn't talk to them a little.
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