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A high degree of difficulty = failure?

10/23/2022

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As I look at my past relationship with women, particularly those times I consider transcendent moments with women I desired but failed to connect with, the high degree of difficulty involved in those efforts to connect really stands out.  A post of several weeks ago talked about how hard the whole deal seemed, in hindsight, in all of those pursuits of something that wound up shaking out in much the same way as things shook out between me and that young woman at that business who I used to go on and on about on this blog.  The beginning of the end between myself and that young woman occurred about a year ago at this time, when I invited her to my comics show while she worked at her place of employment.  In the aftermath of that transcendent moment of a year ago this time, I wanted things to go differently than they usually did.

The most notable difference this time around resided in my concerted effort to refrain from trying to rebound or cash in in the wake of that transcendent moment.  I cast off a couple or three would be player types with little effort, and in so doing demonstrated a willingness to come up with a different set of expectations as to what could happen as a result of me doing the good deed I did.  The last thing I desire resides in the notion that I will just find some other lemon type to latch onto.  Right now I stand prepared to cast off any situation with any woman if I find things too difficult.  Right or wrong, I associate difficulty with failure.  

It occurs to me that I really don't know of anyone else in the entirety of my adult life who experienced anything resembling these transcendent moments that I've experienced several times in my life.  Therefore, maybe it falls upon me to write the rule book on how I proceed moving forward.  A willingness to refrain from engaging with any woman, no matter how attractive I find them or how much I care for them, who presents a lot of difficulty to me may as well serve as the clearest path forward.  Do you want to know why? Because I said so. 
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