I don't think that my decision to go ahead and make a "this is bullshit" call on someone in my world I really, really liked marks the end of our business between each other. Just because I declared no interest on my part in getting to know this person better, that doesn't mean I'll never have to deal with her again. I'll probably see her again, therefore I will need to call on whatever intelligent decision making capabilities I've developed at this stage of things.
For her part, a display of kindness, compassion, and understanding in reaction to my suspicions about her could really, really set her apart from pretty much EVERY SINGLE woman in my past she reminds me of these days. Not going to hold my breath on that one. She WILL NOT impress me that she's actually, sincerely interested in me with a display of general pissiness or acting all offended and insulted that I would DARE go ahead and just pull the trigger on my assessment of her and the situation I found myself in. That's pretty much the go to move of every single bullshit artist I've ever had to deal with at this juncture.
If she does come at me with a display of kindness, compassion, and understanding, that doesn't necessarily mean such a display will reignite my interest in her. It just doesn't work that way. I once had this elderly, African-American auto repair shop porter give me a ride home after I dropped my car off for repairs. He said he was an ordained minister, and he said, more than once, that Jesus preached that we were all put here to love one another. I would punctuate his statements with, "That's not easy to do." I was thinking about that now-former cashier I very much felt as if I was in a situation with at the time. Whatever I managed to express to that young woman when I invited her to my comic book sale a couple of years and one pandemic later was definitely not easy to do.
Speaking of that former cashier, I might have seen her a couple of times at work in the past month or so. If it is her, her appearance has changed some, enough to where I'm a bit shy about saying hi to her. That, plus I feel as if I've given enough of myself to her on behalf of "the cause," and I just don't feel like giving any more. I can count one time I feel as if she gave something of herself to me. That was when she was very kind to me when I got up the courage to invite her to my comic book sale in October of 2021. But I feel as if I commanded respect from her at that moment in what I did, and that explains in large part HER kindness towards ME that ONE TIME. She closed up shop on that part of herself right afterwards, and that's why I bailed two months after I invited her to come see me when I was selling comics, and that's why I STILL don't much feel like giving any more of myself in regards to her to this day.
For her part, a display of kindness, compassion, and understanding in reaction to my suspicions about her could really, really set her apart from pretty much EVERY SINGLE woman in my past she reminds me of these days. Not going to hold my breath on that one. She WILL NOT impress me that she's actually, sincerely interested in me with a display of general pissiness or acting all offended and insulted that I would DARE go ahead and just pull the trigger on my assessment of her and the situation I found myself in. That's pretty much the go to move of every single bullshit artist I've ever had to deal with at this juncture.
If she does come at me with a display of kindness, compassion, and understanding, that doesn't necessarily mean such a display will reignite my interest in her. It just doesn't work that way. I once had this elderly, African-American auto repair shop porter give me a ride home after I dropped my car off for repairs. He said he was an ordained minister, and he said, more than once, that Jesus preached that we were all put here to love one another. I would punctuate his statements with, "That's not easy to do." I was thinking about that now-former cashier I very much felt as if I was in a situation with at the time. Whatever I managed to express to that young woman when I invited her to my comic book sale a couple of years and one pandemic later was definitely not easy to do.
Speaking of that former cashier, I might have seen her a couple of times at work in the past month or so. If it is her, her appearance has changed some, enough to where I'm a bit shy about saying hi to her. That, plus I feel as if I've given enough of myself to her on behalf of "the cause," and I just don't feel like giving any more. I can count one time I feel as if she gave something of herself to me. That was when she was very kind to me when I got up the courage to invite her to my comic book sale in October of 2021. But I feel as if I commanded respect from her at that moment in what I did, and that explains in large part HER kindness towards ME that ONE TIME. She closed up shop on that part of herself right afterwards, and that's why I bailed two months after I invited her to come see me when I was selling comics, and that's why I STILL don't much feel like giving any more of myself in regards to her to this day.
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