Well, I went from being the coolest guy ever to just being another customer to this young, attractive woman who works at a food service business I patronize. She may have made a personal decision that did not go my way. She may have decided to turn her attention to someone else. For. Whatever. Reason. Yeah, I feel a bit jerked around, but I'll be alright.
This brings to mind a situation I found myself in back in 2016. A shift manager at Milto's Pizza named LeeAnn asked me to go drinking with her at her favorite tavern. I told her I didn't drink, and she acted shot down. A week or so later I said I'd still like to hang out with her at her night spot, and we agreed to meet there to watch the presidential debate. I showed up at the bar, but she stood me up.
Okay, here's the good part, for me. At first I thought about going into Milto's Pizza a couple of days after our aborted date. I would just want to demonstrate that there were no hard feelings and like that. Then I thought, "Wait a minute. Think about it." I then decided that I did NOT want to go into Milto's and prove what I great guy I was about being rejected or any of that kind of bullshit.
I decided that "great guy'" schtick could come off as pretty manipulative, because in effect, I would knock the ball back in her court in a manner that would come off as if I were trying to win her over and get her to change her mind about me or all of the above. I would make like being rejected that way was not a big deal, but in going out of my way to prove it was no big deal to me, I would be saying just the opposite. I would try to use her rejection of me and how I parried it as leverage to try and get more out of her.
Instead, I went there a couple a weeks later, and just played it all low key to her. A guy prepping food in the visible kitchen area looked at me as if he had read what I wrote on my blog about the great guy angle and he seemed to be like, "Yeah, exactly." I basically didn't try to be all buddy buddy with LeeAnn, and she seemed okay with it. Things were a little cool between us, but not unbearably so.
I think blowing off this attractive young woman who gushed that I was the coolest guy ever a few weeks ago, but acted as if she were giving me the brush off the last time I saw her; I think just blowing her off for an appreciable length of time could stand the chance of coming off as if I spoke her language a little more than if I tried that great guy stuff. I may not necessarily score any points with her, but at least I can refrain from that great guy charade. Going with the great guy charade might just tell her I'm in a less developed place than even I feel as if I'm in nowadays.
This brings to mind a situation I found myself in back in 2016. A shift manager at Milto's Pizza named LeeAnn asked me to go drinking with her at her favorite tavern. I told her I didn't drink, and she acted shot down. A week or so later I said I'd still like to hang out with her at her night spot, and we agreed to meet there to watch the presidential debate. I showed up at the bar, but she stood me up.
Okay, here's the good part, for me. At first I thought about going into Milto's Pizza a couple of days after our aborted date. I would just want to demonstrate that there were no hard feelings and like that. Then I thought, "Wait a minute. Think about it." I then decided that I did NOT want to go into Milto's and prove what I great guy I was about being rejected or any of that kind of bullshit.
I decided that "great guy'" schtick could come off as pretty manipulative, because in effect, I would knock the ball back in her court in a manner that would come off as if I were trying to win her over and get her to change her mind about me or all of the above. I would make like being rejected that way was not a big deal, but in going out of my way to prove it was no big deal to me, I would be saying just the opposite. I would try to use her rejection of me and how I parried it as leverage to try and get more out of her.
Instead, I went there a couple a weeks later, and just played it all low key to her. A guy prepping food in the visible kitchen area looked at me as if he had read what I wrote on my blog about the great guy angle and he seemed to be like, "Yeah, exactly." I basically didn't try to be all buddy buddy with LeeAnn, and she seemed okay with it. Things were a little cool between us, but not unbearably so.
I think blowing off this attractive young woman who gushed that I was the coolest guy ever a few weeks ago, but acted as if she were giving me the brush off the last time I saw her; I think just blowing her off for an appreciable length of time could stand the chance of coming off as if I spoke her language a little more than if I tried that great guy stuff. I may not necessarily score any points with her, but at least I can refrain from that great guy charade. Going with the great guy charade might just tell her I'm in a less developed place than even I feel as if I'm in nowadays.
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