I used to have this male friend who, instead of having a code of behavior which he tried to adhere to in how he related to those around him, he would just try to get away with as much shit as possible. I told an another male friend of mine that I found the behavior that resulted from this guy's attitude tiresome and alienating. It was just such a drag to feel as if this guy was constantly probing his limits and boundaries with me.
One example: One time I went to meet this male friend and one of his girlfriends at a bar in the spring of 2013. The conversation turned to "Chelsea." He volunteered a swaggeringly delivered, "I fucked her!" at some point during this. I replied, "Really?" with smile. He waved it off and said, "Naw!" That ended that conversational exchange. A few weeks later, he gave me a ride downtown one evening with one of his other girlfriends in the front seat with him as he drove. Again, the conversation turned to Chelsea. He turned to his girlfriend and said, in a more mature tone, "I dated her for a couple of weeks."
I decided to stop being friends with this guy in the spring of 2014. I think my decision to reject him after over thirty years of friendship says a lot more about him than it does about me. In the spring 2014 he told me one lie too many about one of his deals with one of his girlfriends, and, it wasn't so much that this one time it was so bad, it was more like the straw that broke the camel's back. I'd had enough, I couldn't do it anymore.
I've had to deal with a lot of women who've set out to treat me in pretty much the same way this guy treated me for so many years. I don't like this kind of behavior in women anymore than I like it in men. One thing that's really helped me to spot this behavior in women-even women I've had a strong physical attraction to. The kind of attraction that can cloud a guy's ability to reason- one thing that's really helped me is that I learned long ago how to let go of the idea that I needed to consummate a deal with ANY woman that crosses my path. You get me? i'm willing to let ANY opportunity slip through my fingers, NO MATTER WHAT THE WOMAN REPRESENTS TO ME.
I first trained myself to take this position in regards to ANYONE when I ran into Sara in the spring of 1988. It was only in 2012 that I adopted this "turning my back on love" approach in the most committed way I knew how. I don't think ANYONE I've had run-ins with since 2012 can really complain about how I treated them, either.
One aspect of this stance towards the women in my world has to do with what I write here on this blog. If the notion crosses my mind that I might one day want to write words such as the ones I wrote in this entry's preceding paragraphs, then go for it. Don't hold back. Don't save such a post for a situation that may or may not develop into something later on. Just come out with it.
I write this now because I get the impression that how a number of women in my world regard me has changed for the better. The whole reason things have changed for the better has to do with my willingness to just let this stuff get out there, no matter where I may feel I stand with any one particular person or another, in my opinion. If anyone forgot what this post's original topic centered around, it centered around women trying to get away with murder as far as how they relate to me goes.
One example: One time I went to meet this male friend and one of his girlfriends at a bar in the spring of 2013. The conversation turned to "Chelsea." He volunteered a swaggeringly delivered, "I fucked her!" at some point during this. I replied, "Really?" with smile. He waved it off and said, "Naw!" That ended that conversational exchange. A few weeks later, he gave me a ride downtown one evening with one of his other girlfriends in the front seat with him as he drove. Again, the conversation turned to Chelsea. He turned to his girlfriend and said, in a more mature tone, "I dated her for a couple of weeks."
I decided to stop being friends with this guy in the spring of 2014. I think my decision to reject him after over thirty years of friendship says a lot more about him than it does about me. In the spring 2014 he told me one lie too many about one of his deals with one of his girlfriends, and, it wasn't so much that this one time it was so bad, it was more like the straw that broke the camel's back. I'd had enough, I couldn't do it anymore.
I've had to deal with a lot of women who've set out to treat me in pretty much the same way this guy treated me for so many years. I don't like this kind of behavior in women anymore than I like it in men. One thing that's really helped me to spot this behavior in women-even women I've had a strong physical attraction to. The kind of attraction that can cloud a guy's ability to reason- one thing that's really helped me is that I learned long ago how to let go of the idea that I needed to consummate a deal with ANY woman that crosses my path. You get me? i'm willing to let ANY opportunity slip through my fingers, NO MATTER WHAT THE WOMAN REPRESENTS TO ME.
I first trained myself to take this position in regards to ANYONE when I ran into Sara in the spring of 1988. It was only in 2012 that I adopted this "turning my back on love" approach in the most committed way I knew how. I don't think ANYONE I've had run-ins with since 2012 can really complain about how I treated them, either.
One aspect of this stance towards the women in my world has to do with what I write here on this blog. If the notion crosses my mind that I might one day want to write words such as the ones I wrote in this entry's preceding paragraphs, then go for it. Don't hold back. Don't save such a post for a situation that may or may not develop into something later on. Just come out with it.
I write this now because I get the impression that how a number of women in my world regard me has changed for the better. The whole reason things have changed for the better has to do with my willingness to just let this stuff get out there, no matter where I may feel I stand with any one particular person or another, in my opinion. If anyone forgot what this post's original topic centered around, it centered around women trying to get away with murder as far as how they relate to me goes.
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