A place to go in my mind

I used to try to make women in my world over into love interests in order to give me someone to think about as I went through my work shifts and other challenging times.  Two posts ago I wrote about how I would take stock on December 8th, 2024 over the issue of whether my relationship with women has actually improved by then.  I think I will focus my energy over this next year on refraining from retaliating against anyone I might otherwise retaliate against if I refused to listen to my better angels.  That will give me something to think about during my challenging work shifts and whatnot.  The way I see it, such an effort requires an ongoing commitment.  Not unlike the commitment I had to make in order to quit smoking cigarettes over twenty years ago.  To bring about that change I had to stick with it for a long period of time.  I couldn't just make a one time decision to quit smoking and that settled that.

I've retaliated against individual women and others in the past at similar junctures to this one.  Think of it: people finally see me as something resembling an actual human being, much like them, and it's been at these times, sometimes, when I just went, "Wammo!," and hit them with some retaliatory gesture.  Talk about shooting myself in the foot!  That's why I find it necessary to stay committed to my path of non-retaliation over a long period of time.  If there's one thing that could most improve my relationship with women over this next year, over anything else I can do, this could very well be it.