Because of the terrorist attacks on September 11th, I began my big push to turn my life around back in October of 2001. At the time, I read a headline in my digital edition of the New York times that said single New Yorkers felt especially vulnerable in the wake of the attacks. They didn't have anyone in their life to turn to for strength or comfort and the attacks brought up fears of dying alone.
On the night of October 20th, 21st, or 22nd, my big push to turn my life around began with a single act: cleaning up my apartment. My train of thought at the time led me to conclude that I would indulge in substance abuse as a way to deal with the loneliness of being single. A decision to refrain from buying beer that night followed. In the days that followed I kept up this practice of refraining from drinking or smoking pot while in my apartment. For the first time I felt safe from the temptations of substance abuse, as long as I just spent the evening at home in my apartment. Several weeks of keeping up this constraint gave me enough confidence to try to quit smoking cigarettes again.
And so began the first steps of a thousand mile, twenty-five year journey that led to my successful efforts to quit smoking, commit to abstinence from drugs and alcohol in 2009, and to meaningfully come to terms with my problems with my love addiction in 2012. Just yesterday, I felt really lonely because I didn't have anyone in my world I could make over into a love interest. And then I thought, "That's great! You don't have a love interest right now! Congratulations!"
That desire to always have a love interest lead to some of my most alienating behaviors towards others in my world from the 1980's onward. I came to the realization about how fucked up it is to ALWAYS have a love interest back in 2016. That's FIFTEEN YEARS after my initial steps on my thousand mile journey.
A couple of months after I started my big push to quit smoking, which included joining a support group and utilizing the nicotine patch AND gum, I relapsed over fears of nuclear terrorism. I got right back on the horse and continued my big push to quit smoking. I relapsed on the cigarettes many times over the course of the year 2002. I found success with a prescription for Zyban/Wellbutrin and my continued attendance at my support group meetings. I found the support group by calling the American Lung Association and asking them about such a thing. Since December 1st, 2002, I have not smoked a cigarette.
I bet on myself and won. Sure, something such as nuclear terrorism can still happen, absolutely, but if I'd just given up on quitting cigarettes over this one fear, I would either be dead now or I would wish I were dead. You see, I smoked TWO PACKS OF CIGARETTES A DAY at the time I began my big push to quit smoking. I was thirty-seven years old. I probably didn't have much longer on that kind of addiction before health issues would start happening. Certainly not the twenty-five years I gave myself by finally quitting cigarettes. Throw in abstinence from alcohol and drugs, plus no real life-altering heartbreaks to speak of since then, and I really made out like a bandit with the steps I took to turn things around in October of 2001.
After I committed to abstinence from drugs and alcohol, I took up comics in earnest. Page 23 (outline), from "Richy Vegas Songbook," issue 3. I hope to finish the outlines of the page art in a month.
On the night of October 20th, 21st, or 22nd, my big push to turn my life around began with a single act: cleaning up my apartment. My train of thought at the time led me to conclude that I would indulge in substance abuse as a way to deal with the loneliness of being single. A decision to refrain from buying beer that night followed. In the days that followed I kept up this practice of refraining from drinking or smoking pot while in my apartment. For the first time I felt safe from the temptations of substance abuse, as long as I just spent the evening at home in my apartment. Several weeks of keeping up this constraint gave me enough confidence to try to quit smoking cigarettes again.
And so began the first steps of a thousand mile, twenty-five year journey that led to my successful efforts to quit smoking, commit to abstinence from drugs and alcohol in 2009, and to meaningfully come to terms with my problems with my love addiction in 2012. Just yesterday, I felt really lonely because I didn't have anyone in my world I could make over into a love interest. And then I thought, "That's great! You don't have a love interest right now! Congratulations!"
That desire to always have a love interest lead to some of my most alienating behaviors towards others in my world from the 1980's onward. I came to the realization about how fucked up it is to ALWAYS have a love interest back in 2016. That's FIFTEEN YEARS after my initial steps on my thousand mile journey.
A couple of months after I started my big push to quit smoking, which included joining a support group and utilizing the nicotine patch AND gum, I relapsed over fears of nuclear terrorism. I got right back on the horse and continued my big push to quit smoking. I relapsed on the cigarettes many times over the course of the year 2002. I found success with a prescription for Zyban/Wellbutrin and my continued attendance at my support group meetings. I found the support group by calling the American Lung Association and asking them about such a thing. Since December 1st, 2002, I have not smoked a cigarette.
I bet on myself and won. Sure, something such as nuclear terrorism can still happen, absolutely, but if I'd just given up on quitting cigarettes over this one fear, I would either be dead now or I would wish I were dead. You see, I smoked TWO PACKS OF CIGARETTES A DAY at the time I began my big push to quit smoking. I was thirty-seven years old. I probably didn't have much longer on that kind of addiction before health issues would start happening. Certainly not the twenty-five years I gave myself by finally quitting cigarettes. Throw in abstinence from alcohol and drugs, plus no real life-altering heartbreaks to speak of since then, and I really made out like a bandit with the steps I took to turn things around in October of 2001.
After I committed to abstinence from drugs and alcohol, I took up comics in earnest. Page 23 (outline), from "Richy Vegas Songbook," issue 3. I hope to finish the outlines of the page art in a month.
My gig at the Carousel Lounge is tomorrow.
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