My effort to refrain from patronizing that one coffee shop and that one diner goes along nicely, thank you. What do I hope to accomplish with this effort? Will I score points with those waitresses and baristas at those places? Is that the reason to put so much effort into demonstrably proving that I am NOT relating to these women in such an obsessive manner as I might? The simple answer to that central question, will I score points with these women, that simple answer is no, that is not the reason to put forth this supreme effort.
It would be NICE to score points in such a manner with these waitresses and baristas (boy, would it ever), but that's not it. The reason to put forth this supreme effort to refrain from patronizing these two businesses is the change it will make inside of ME. Here's an analogy. While looking up articles online on the phenomenon of people who stalk celebrities, I saw a picture of a very handsome young man holding a hand painted sign in an urban setting proclaiming his love for Taylor Swift. I assume he stood outside of her residence in New York City exercising his free speech rights to peacefully proclaim his love for Taylor Swift in a public space.
Now, if that young man decided one day to hang it up and just go home and never again stand outside of Taylor Swift's residence proclaiming his undying love for her, I don't think it would score points with Taylor Swift to such an extent that she would then pursue HIM romantically. However, such a move by this young man to end his vigil outside of her residence might just spark a series of changes within him that might lead him to engage with desirable women and the world in general in a much more constructive and beneficial way. In my case, I hope, I hope, I hope, that in my analogous situation I can learn to engage with women and the world in general in more constructive ways than in seeking out "opportunities" to hang around ostensibly unavailable women.
It would be NICE to score points in such a manner with these waitresses and baristas (boy, would it ever), but that's not it. The reason to put forth this supreme effort to refrain from patronizing these two businesses is the change it will make inside of ME. Here's an analogy. While looking up articles online on the phenomenon of people who stalk celebrities, I saw a picture of a very handsome young man holding a hand painted sign in an urban setting proclaiming his love for Taylor Swift. I assume he stood outside of her residence in New York City exercising his free speech rights to peacefully proclaim his love for Taylor Swift in a public space.
Now, if that young man decided one day to hang it up and just go home and never again stand outside of Taylor Swift's residence proclaiming his undying love for her, I don't think it would score points with Taylor Swift to such an extent that she would then pursue HIM romantically. However, such a move by this young man to end his vigil outside of her residence might just spark a series of changes within him that might lead him to engage with desirable women and the world in general in a much more constructive and beneficial way. In my case, I hope, I hope, I hope, that in my analogous situation I can learn to engage with women and the world in general in more constructive ways than in seeking out "opportunities" to hang around ostensibly unavailable women.
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