In my post, "Beautiful Women." I went off on someone in my world. I think I managed my response pretty well to some of the issues this person brought up. The issues have to do with this person's availability and the availability of someone else. I talked about how I first started teaching myself to exist in a happy place without someone such as this person I went off on giving me validation of my worth. I first started teaching myself how to be happy without such women while I was still in my twenties.
In my early twenties, I had so many breakdown experiences that centered around this issue. I could not make intelligent decisions about this or that young woman who presented me with this or that dilemma that centered around their actual availability. One example was "Donna." Donna merely flirted with me and the world in general one night early in the summer of 1986 over at a friend's house. I decided to go on a spiritual quest for love over that one. I carried a torch for her the whole summer, even though this mutual friend told me she had a boyfriend, and it all ended up in a breakdown mess at a party at that same house where she did her little act at the beginning of the summer.
I managed to smooth things over for a bit with a transcendent moment at another party at another location the following weekend. I saw Donna and her boyfriend at this other party and I went up and talked to her as if it were all no big deal. This transcendent miracle attracted the attention of "Wanda." Out of the frying pan and into the fire. She presented me with issues of whether or not she was actually available as well, all while basically pretending to be my girlfriend. So yeah, my crude sexual proposition to her was not an intelligent decision, I admit.
I didn't start making intelligent decisions about unavailable women until Sara in the spring of 1988. My only criticism of my "what if I turned my back on love?" approach I came up with at the time resides in the notion that I didn't not take that approach far enough. So, in 2012, I once again embraced this "buddha" I follow to the utmost limits I'm able to follow it.
As the example of Donna leading to Wanda illustrates, an inability to deal with relatively minor dilemmas concerning the actual availability of an individual woman can lead to a much bigger problem with someone else down the road. I think about this person in my world, the person I mentioned at the beginning of this post. I don't think the dilemma she presented me with is that big a deal. I think I can handle it in a sufficiently professional manner and come out okay. I don't want to be vexed by whatever minor dilemma she's presented to me, because that would not bode well for my prospects for making intelligent decisions about some real turkeys out there who might come up for consideration further down the road
In Dr. David Burns' book, "Feeling Good," He tells several stories of elusive boyfriends and wayward husbands who leave his female patients beside themselves as to how to handle it. He counsels them again and again to learn how to be the providers of their own happiness and to stop chasing after these men. He also encourages the patients to see things from their wayward partners point of view so these women can move on and not get stuck there. In at least one instance, one woman turns the tables to such an extent that the man comes back wanting to deal.
I typically don't have that level of success in the situations I find myself in. One reason may reside in the fact that I don't, at any given time, have any actual romantic love relationships with the women in question. For me then, turning the tables doesn't matter. The discovery by itself that I don't need to be vexed every single time someone presents me with a dilemma of whether or not they are actually available provides me with a great deal of satisfaction.
In my early twenties, I had so many breakdown experiences that centered around this issue. I could not make intelligent decisions about this or that young woman who presented me with this or that dilemma that centered around their actual availability. One example was "Donna." Donna merely flirted with me and the world in general one night early in the summer of 1986 over at a friend's house. I decided to go on a spiritual quest for love over that one. I carried a torch for her the whole summer, even though this mutual friend told me she had a boyfriend, and it all ended up in a breakdown mess at a party at that same house where she did her little act at the beginning of the summer.
I managed to smooth things over for a bit with a transcendent moment at another party at another location the following weekend. I saw Donna and her boyfriend at this other party and I went up and talked to her as if it were all no big deal. This transcendent miracle attracted the attention of "Wanda." Out of the frying pan and into the fire. She presented me with issues of whether or not she was actually available as well, all while basically pretending to be my girlfriend. So yeah, my crude sexual proposition to her was not an intelligent decision, I admit.
I didn't start making intelligent decisions about unavailable women until Sara in the spring of 1988. My only criticism of my "what if I turned my back on love?" approach I came up with at the time resides in the notion that I didn't not take that approach far enough. So, in 2012, I once again embraced this "buddha" I follow to the utmost limits I'm able to follow it.
As the example of Donna leading to Wanda illustrates, an inability to deal with relatively minor dilemmas concerning the actual availability of an individual woman can lead to a much bigger problem with someone else down the road. I think about this person in my world, the person I mentioned at the beginning of this post. I don't think the dilemma she presented me with is that big a deal. I think I can handle it in a sufficiently professional manner and come out okay. I don't want to be vexed by whatever minor dilemma she's presented to me, because that would not bode well for my prospects for making intelligent decisions about some real turkeys out there who might come up for consideration further down the road
In Dr. David Burns' book, "Feeling Good," He tells several stories of elusive boyfriends and wayward husbands who leave his female patients beside themselves as to how to handle it. He counsels them again and again to learn how to be the providers of their own happiness and to stop chasing after these men. He also encourages the patients to see things from their wayward partners point of view so these women can move on and not get stuck there. In at least one instance, one woman turns the tables to such an extent that the man comes back wanting to deal.
I typically don't have that level of success in the situations I find myself in. One reason may reside in the fact that I don't, at any given time, have any actual romantic love relationships with the women in question. For me then, turning the tables doesn't matter. The discovery by itself that I don't need to be vexed every single time someone presents me with a dilemma of whether or not they are actually available provides me with a great deal of satisfaction.
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