I think about a former friend of mine who, when I knew him, had a lot of success with picking up women and having girlfriends and whatnot, but he was also a bit of a scoundrel with these women as well. I think about how it seems as if so many women seem to feel safer with someone such as him over an obsessive type such as myself. They may feel as if they have something to work with in him, while an obsessive type such as myself they tend to see as a hopeless case. How can any kind of back and forth happen through a seemingly endless barrage of phone calls, or texts, or emails, or dm's that obsessive guys are notorious for sending?
Here's the thing, though. My former friend was FINE with the way he was towards women and the world in general. He would brag about his sexual exploits with stray women that would undermine his relationships with his one ex-wife and his girlfriends, and he would always say this one girlfriend that he would physically abuse, often, deserved that kind of treatment. As for ME, the obsessive guy, I've wanted to make changes in how I relate to women since adolescence.
I feel as if I've made significant changes with how I relate to women and the world in general these past twenty-five or so years. I've given up a lot of bad habits such as smoking, drinking and drugs. Giving up those bad habits allowed me to focus in on improving my relationship with women. I've written on this blog often about the Cognitive Behavior mental exercises and challenges I've laid down before myself and I don't think I relate to individual women I'm attracted to as obsessively as I used to. Refraining from patronizing this one diner and this one coffee shop is now directly tied to continuing on with the changes I've made in how I relate to women.
I've written often about my "What if I turned my back on love?" Cognitive Behavior experiment I first tried with a girl in college named Sara in 1988, and how I consciously revived that experiment in 2012. By refraining from patronizing this one coffee shop and diner to the extent I used to patronize them, yeah, I may let some opportunities to get with these two women slip through my fingers, but they will not know me as someone who was obsessively underfoot in their lives at all times, either. As an obsessive guy, I see those two scenarios as my choices in this situation. Experience tells me to go ahead and let any supposed opportunities to get with either of these two women slip through my fingers, because I've got a lot to overcome with this obsessive guy label.
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