Hmmm. I've put forth the argument for years that these young women presented me with "jump through my hoops" dilemmas in these situations because they weren't really that interested in me. I figured that they would treat men that they had a genuine interest in with a more accommodating manner. That may very well be true, actually. To more accurately put my train of thought across, I DO think that there are men that they are more accommodating to, and that they might not present such dilemmas to such men.
But here's the thing, I may reside in a category of men who they might not like as much, or sometimes not at all, when they first get to know me. But, over time, when they get to know me better, they will give me the opportunities with them that I get. These opportunities seem to lean heavily on the side of dilemma, but nonetheless, they are opportunities the way they see them.
Another way to look at it could be that these opportunities appear so much as dilemmas to me because of the way they would interact with me in the days when they didn't like me much. So that would mean I'm not giving myself enough credit for turning things around with these women. With that in mind, maybe men who find more success with such women get the same kind of dilemmas as I get, but that they just make a different turn at that juncture.
I can think of one example in the form of a barista at Thunderbird Coffee back in 2022. In 2018, I found her on Facebook and put in a friend request for her. She responded by not accepting my request. For some time afterwards, when I would go to Thunderbird, she would mock me with these pseudo goo-goo eyes. It took a couple or three weeks for her to let up on that.
But over the years, she seemed to take a liking to me. Then, all of a sudden, one day as I got some coffee at Thunderbird, a female barista smiled and said, "It's all yours," while another female barista stood next to her and smiled. This kind of thing went on for a bit. I came to think that these women were hinting at this one goo-goo eyes barista and how she had an interest in me.
I was on the "what if I turned my back on love?" path, so I decided to question goo-goo eyes and her supposed interest in me on my posts on this blog. Soon thereafter, she seemed to have taken up with some other guy. I just wrote in a following post that I'd never learned to catch a freight train going ninety miles an hour down the railroad tracks in my younger days, either.
There are a couple of things about this story to keep in mind. The competition for the affections of someone such as this very attractive young woman is fierce, but that she did see herself as signaling to me that she had a genuine interest in getting to know me better, and in her mind, she gave me a chance.
So, what do I do about all this now? Relax, I'd say. I'd say it is possible that quit a number of young women have taken something of an interest in me over these years, but that my whole "shout at the devil" approach to their somewhat interest could have driven them off. But that's okay, because they probably wouldn't have taken an interest in me in the first place if I hadn't turned to "on" switch to "off" when I would spend time around them.
So yeah, relax, just relax. I may have gained some insight without treading too heavily over these situations with these women, and now I can just look back and observe and make decisions based on those observations. No crash and burn experiences where I have to pick up the pieces and soldier on blindly.
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