Female desire for a man is not based on the guy's virtuous merit any more than a man's desire for a woman is based on her virtuous merit. I read an entry in the comments section of an article on the Jezebel site that said, that in our society, one gender (men) plays the role of voracious consumer, and the other gender (women) plays the role of gatekeeper. I find it unhelpful to buy into my part in such an equation, and I imagine a lot of other people, men and women both, would feel the same way.
I was on a date in 2015, and my date, at one point, smirked and said, in a smirking voice, that she did not compete for men. The fact that she offered herself to me later that night was supposed to override some remark like that, I guess. I found the attitude she displayed towards me that found reflection in that remark she made while smirking so off-putting that, my role as voracious consumer be damned, that was our first and last date.
A guy's virtuous merit can be an attractive feature, as long as it's not enmeshed in some "nice guy" attitude of entitlement to access to women due to this supposed virtuous merit. But the idea that women select a guy due to such a quality has likely tripped me up on any number of occasions.
A couple of years ago, this one barista at a coffee shop I patronized supposedly wanted to get to know me better. She was fucking gorgeous too, but I was skeptical. I'd found her on Facebook in early 2018, and put in a friend request for her. She seemed to take great offense to this at the time. She would make goo-goo eyes at me as if to mock me or to otherwise mess with me. But I made it clear through posts on this blog that I didn't have any desire to "start" anything with her, and that my Facebook friend request in no way reflected such a desire.
She backed off with that goo-goo eyes stuff, and she turned out to be one of the nicer women to me at that coffee shop. She acted as if she sympathized with me through the whole Schmaylor Schmift ordeal, and I really appreciated her support. She became one of my favorite baristas at that coffee shop, for sure.
But I think she got tripped up on the notion of rewarding my perseverance through my travails with some sort of attention from her, because the first instance where I expressed some skepticism and reluctance to engage with her on this blog, she bailed. Again, I think the scuttlebutt around the coffee shop was that she just found someone else she liked better. So much for her role as judicious gatekeeper, favoring men with attention based on their virtuous merit.
So you see, this kind of thing has happened to me before....and quite recently to boot. But you know what, the idea that women's desire for men is based more on things such as looks and charm and whatnot frees me from having to be a "good guy" all the time in how I engage with women. I can concentrate more on stuff such as losing some more weight, getting a nice haircut, or buying a neat pair of shoes or like that than having to be a "good guy" and "work things out" with ANYONE who crosses my path.
I was on a date in 2015, and my date, at one point, smirked and said, in a smirking voice, that she did not compete for men. The fact that she offered herself to me later that night was supposed to override some remark like that, I guess. I found the attitude she displayed towards me that found reflection in that remark she made while smirking so off-putting that, my role as voracious consumer be damned, that was our first and last date.
A guy's virtuous merit can be an attractive feature, as long as it's not enmeshed in some "nice guy" attitude of entitlement to access to women due to this supposed virtuous merit. But the idea that women select a guy due to such a quality has likely tripped me up on any number of occasions.
A couple of years ago, this one barista at a coffee shop I patronized supposedly wanted to get to know me better. She was fucking gorgeous too, but I was skeptical. I'd found her on Facebook in early 2018, and put in a friend request for her. She seemed to take great offense to this at the time. She would make goo-goo eyes at me as if to mock me or to otherwise mess with me. But I made it clear through posts on this blog that I didn't have any desire to "start" anything with her, and that my Facebook friend request in no way reflected such a desire.
She backed off with that goo-goo eyes stuff, and she turned out to be one of the nicer women to me at that coffee shop. She acted as if she sympathized with me through the whole Schmaylor Schmift ordeal, and I really appreciated her support. She became one of my favorite baristas at that coffee shop, for sure.
But I think she got tripped up on the notion of rewarding my perseverance through my travails with some sort of attention from her, because the first instance where I expressed some skepticism and reluctance to engage with her on this blog, she bailed. Again, I think the scuttlebutt around the coffee shop was that she just found someone else she liked better. So much for her role as judicious gatekeeper, favoring men with attention based on their virtuous merit.
So you see, this kind of thing has happened to me before....and quite recently to boot. But you know what, the idea that women's desire for men is based more on things such as looks and charm and whatnot frees me from having to be a "good guy" all the time in how I engage with women. I can concentrate more on stuff such as losing some more weight, getting a nice haircut, or buying a neat pair of shoes or like that than having to be a "good guy" and "work things out" with ANYONE who crosses my path.
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